Here’s the thing, in preparing for my “soft opening” for this damn Matchmaking company, I have been talking to A LOT to other single folks. Everyone from Hairstylist to CEOs. Most recently, the Verizon Technician who came to hook up my phone and internet.*Sidebar – I promised him if I had another kid I would name it Darnell, boy or girl because he gave me back the internet, poor kid… as if having my crazy ass for a mother wasn’t bad enough.* Anywho, in speaking to these ppl I have been asking them what they were looking for in a spouse/lover/boyfriend. If any of you date online you will recognize the following statements because I guarantee you have read it a million times (if you even still read the profiles). They have all said, they don’t want the following:
I am sure if you haven’t read those words you haven’t been internet dating long, hell dating long at all. Here’s the thing, how do you know if YOU are ready for the (wo)man of your dreams? You say you want someone who makes lots of money? You do realize, other than ppl that are born rich or ppl who are into illegal activity, anyone that has a lot of money had to work long and hard to get it and will have to continue to do so to stay on top in their field and to keep their jobs. What that translates into is, possible engagements that you will have to attend. Ones that you will be all dressed up to be ignored for most of the evening. Probably a spouse who is home maybe a total of 30 hours a week and most of them will be spent either on the telephone, waiting for a call/fax/txt or sleeping. A lot of dinners alone and probably (unless you have them already) no children for a while or being the primary person raising your children. God forbid if you have the same type of job.
Let’s say you wanted to marry someone in Sports or Entertainment. You have to be ready for men and women throwing themselves at your spouse daily. (S)he will be traveling a lot, more without you, than with you. Inappropriate things will be said about you and your spouse and if you have any, your children (Elin Woods – Tiger Woods’ wife). Comedians (if your spouse is successful at what s/he does) will often make you or your family the punchline of their jokes. Your entire life will be under a microscope and in the words of David Chappelle, “It is very easy to become famous, but you can not become un-famous, just infamous.”
It doesn’t have to be to that extreme either, it could be that you want a sensitive partner or an unselfish partner. Are you sensitive? Are you unselfish?
The next time you say there are no good wo/men out there or why do you keep picking the same type of guy/girl, you may need to take a look at yourself and your life. To get love, you have to give it, be open to it AND be able to receive it. If you are coming across the same “type” of ppl repeatedly, it may be something about you that you need to work on. A relationship is not just about what you want and what you’re looking for, it’s about your partner as well. You may have come across the person you are looking for several times in your life but because you had certain qualities, it may have turned him/her off. Just food for thought. 🙂