What did I miss???

I haven’t been on in a while (again) because I was dealing with some personal issues that I won’t be sharing.  Things have been confusing but everything is as it should be, I guess.  Basically my life is back to the insane rollercoaster it has always been (Evie false alarm, sort of, but thanks for your prayers).

Some things have changed and some things have stayed the same.  I think I was right (normally I am) about the guy stalking my blog because after my last case of verbal diarrhea, I haven’t heard from him.  Hey Evie, how about you tell your txt stalker that you write a blog and maybe the same thing will happen, he will just go away with no fanfare.

I digress, one of the other changes which have occurred, I disabled my OK Stupid profile (Grey Goose, Dirty’s name for it) but my heart must not have been in it because you have the option to disable it or to take it down completely and all I did was disable it, I am such a wimp.  I turned around this week after getting some good/bad news and decided (again) wtf, it’s not that bad, right.  WRONG.  I swear it’s more pervs on there now than when I left two months ago.  And since I stopped drinking and smoking, they aren’t that fucking funny anymore either, smh.  I haven’t found anyone I am attracted to because either they are ugly on the outside and inside or weird or sexy as hell and are conceited.  The cute ones also seem to be “pretty idiots”.  This one guy was sexy as hell but he was such a fucking tool.  He was insulting the women reading his page but he couldn’t spell his insults, smh.  He says  women wanted a certain type of guy and they had nothing to offer in return, women weren’t really women, they were little girls playing dress up, I bet his inbox was overflowing.  Where did this come from? Guys thinking the best way to get with a woman is to insult her… blog for another day.

As you just read another thing that has changed is I stopped drinking and smoking.  I thought I’d give up drinking for health reasons (some of the reason anyway) and I also figured while I was drinking I was making dumb ass decisions that were leaving me in hot water when I was sober, again I was wrong.  I seem to make the dumb ass decisions when I’m sober and get the best alibis and lies solutions when I have been drinking.  I am also more warm, I tend to be a heartless bitch sober.

The smoking I gave up for pretty much the same as the first reason I chose to stop drinking, my health.  Yeah, no…. that doesn’t work for me.  I was waiting for something and I said if what I was waiting for turn out to be wrong, I would see how I felt after.  If I still wanted to be nicotine and alcohol free afterward, wtf right.  Yeah, I am buying a pack of Newport 100s as soon as I finish with this blog and then…  I am going to the “State Store”, ppl under the age of 30 or who aren’t from Philly refer to these places as the liquor store or in the beautiful state of VA where my Aunts live, the supermarket, lmfao.  I will travel there (the liquor store not VA) and get me a bottle of Captain Morgan and continue to pickle my liver until I forget my children are home for a week on Spring Break 😦

Let’s see what else, what else… oh yeah no more trips to the laundry mat, Momma’s buying a washer and dryer, woo whoo.  I spent the last three years without them and I have been living like I did in college, I had clean clothes, dirty clothes and shit that had to be washed.  Dirty clothes you could wear again, if they had a stain, a little dish or laundry detergent and a wash cloth, good as new.  “Shit that had to be washed” or S2BW, you could whistle for and they would walk to the laundry mat (don’t judge) like that scene in Fantasia….

This is the one that tried to kill herself with aspirin last year when her boyfriend's wife found out about her and then sued her for millions

Not that Fantasia…

I’m talking about this Fantasia, I think the story is called sorcerer’s apprentice…

I could whistle and my laundry would go to the laundry mat the way these mops are cleaning the house.

I realized after I inserted a pic of Mickey Mouse I was actually rambling, so I am done for now.  To do a quick recap:

I got scared shitless

got some shit sorted out

stopped drinking and smoking

stopped online dating

realized that I was an idiot because I stopped drinking and smoking

restarted my pathetic online dating life

and a partridge in a pear tree 🙂

Happy drinking and Later Days,



4 thoughts on “What did I miss???

  1. You’re welcome for the prayers!! Anytime my friend.

    This post was hilarious!! I’m still laughing…and I’m totally with you on drinking again. Do it! LOLOL. It makes dating, LAUNDRY and life so much better.

    1. For some reason the folks that “thought” I was a snarky bitch when I drank, found out it wasn’t the alcohol, it was them, lmao. I was reading “Making Strides” on your blog today and I soooo understand. I’m right there with you.

      And if you think this blog is funny wait until you read “Ode to the txt stalker” and “Candy Shop”, I’m cracking up just thinking about them, if only I could be this inspired about writing another short story, I would have published another one by now, smh.

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