I wasn’t going to share…

I wasn’t going to share but I have to get it off me…

I named him and he didn’t come, I knew he wasn’t because I know my body…
I thought I felt him
then he was gone, in my mind he was a he not and not a she because I have so many… my she’s are three
now, I feel lost when I touch my stomach…
I feel angry…
I am expected to be strong, so I don’t cry even though I want to really, really bad…
instead I drink tequila and sing Jimmy Buffet.
I don’t lash out, I except the help I am given and I wait…
just to stop… feeling like this.

Later Days,
-K

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3 thoughts on “I wasn’t going to share…

  1. I know you were really freaking out for a few weeks…but I know you would’ve wanted him by the time he showed up. I’m so sorry Kay. 😦

    Lash out here as much as you want. And cry your heart out if need be.

  2. I cried for the first time last night. I still feel fuzzy, like my brain is made of cotton. I don’t want to really let it take over because I have a lot of shit to do in the next couple of weeks and I gotta bring my “A” game.

    As far as lashing out TV Guy has been my whipping boy 😦 I know not nice but *shrugging* it is what it is.

    Thank you for your support through it all though b/c I know you are going through your own shit too.

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