Monthly Archives: August 2011

Hair, Hair, Hair…

The girls are going back to school next week, I know… I know, I think the kids in Philadelphia go back to school the latest.  Anywho, when you have two daughters in the house going back to school is a big event only rivaled by Fashion Week in NYC.  I have to do hair and buy the perfect accessories to go with Maroon and Navy Blue uniform shirts.   Not to mention the hair has to be “perfect” or their lives are “over”.  So this is our “trial run” week.  That way any errors or wardrobe malfunctions are caught before school starts.  This week I am Relaxing hair. I am curling hair, trying on different uniforms (to see if they are too short or too tight).  We have also been getting our schedules back on track.  I can’t wait for them to go back to school because they have been driving me insane these last couple of weeks because they have been missing their friends.  I tell you this though, next week can’t come fast enough and I will probably be shitfaced by tonight at midnight and if I never see another piece of hair again it will be too soon, smh.

Later Days,

-K

Once an Adult, twice a Child…

No truer statement has ever been uttered.  There are days when my mother becomes my 3rd child.  She argues with my children, picks at my children and basically drives me insane.  This generally happens when she’s not feeling well.  I try to be understanding but it can be a bit much.

In other news trying not to be annoyed today. Trying to enjoy the fact that my home is not currently relocated to the Delaware River due to Hurricane Irene.  Trying not to blow my top.  Pray for me.  I will do my best to try not  tolose it.  Yeah I know good luck with that… smh.  I will be in a vodka induced haze after about 9pm tonight, so you know these 5 hours will drag like RuPaul.  I am being summoned again, so I will ttyl.

 

Later Days,

-K

Get a life…

Do you want some good advice about dating?  Get a life.  Seriously, get one.  Stop sitting around waiting for someone to text/call or email you.  Stop waiting for him to call you and make plans.  Life is happening around you and you are missing it waiting for him.  Call your besties, your girlfriends (for all you guys that don’t speak “girl” besties and Girlfriends aren’t the same thing), call your cousins or sisters, coworkers.  Hell send out an evite or FB event to everybody you know if you got to and go the hell out.  Go listen to some Jazz, go swing your hips and ass at a new night spot (if you don’t have hips and ass buys some, they are rather cheap).  Call your grandma, aunties, next door neighbors and take them to lunch (who knows they may even drop a little old school knowledge on you).  Go to an Art exhibit.  Go to a movie, learn (if you don’t know how) to go out to dinner alone or travel alone.  Hell learn a new language.

Why sit by and let life pass you by waiting on a damn phone or some damn boy.  Go get a life.  These men are out there but you have to do more than eat, sleep, work and pay bills. My Grandmother use to tell us, ” a watched pot never boils”. You will go nuts if you sit around waiting for something to happen.  Go make it happen.  Being alone and being lonely are two different things.  You’re sitting @ home playing Scrabble or Jeopardy on FB.  Your going through thousands, upon thousands of damn profile pics.  You are having virtual conversations with ppl through text, IM or blogging.  Go have a real conversation.  Stop sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself and go do something.  If you’re broke (like me) and aren’t slutty enough to boost up the girls in a pushup bra friendly enough to get free drinks like me, go to free shit.  Check your local free paper, in Philly it’s the CITY PAPEREl Sol (for our spanish speaking brothers and sisters) and the Philadelphia Weekly.  They ALWAYS have free local events.  If you use the online version you can filter by date, location and time.  Have a friggin wine tasting at your home, a stock the bar party, a dinner party and tell everyone to invite a single person (if inviting a girl, tell her to invite a guy and vice versa so that you have an equal amount of the opposite sex).  Hell have a beer pong party or a Kegger (remember how fun those were) at your house, who cares if you’re 30 or 40 something.  Hell have a tattoo party.  If you don’t have children (which I do) make every weekend or your free weekends (if you do have kids) party time.  And when your phone does ring, don’t cancel your plans or blow off Granny to accommodate these douch bags fellas.  Tell them you’re busy this weekend how about “Insert new date here”, if they’re busy on said new date, tell them to give you a call when they’re free again.  I don’t care how much you like the guy.  Stop being so damned available.  No one really sees the value in anyone or anything they haven’t worked for.  I’m not telling you to play games, just don’t be so damn available. If they like you, they will make time for you and they will be there when your schedule frees up. (*Sidebar – also this is a pretty bad habit because when you do become busy, they will take it as rejection or you blowing them off because they’re used to you being so available).  Pick up the phone sometimes and call them and ask them out too! Go ahead be old fashioned (and be ready to be alone).  The reason you get so crazy waiting is because there is nothing else really going on in your life.  Trust me you will feel better.

The reason I believe guys go running whenever we REALLY like them is because they become our everything and that is a scary notion, that another person has nothing else better to do than wait for your call.  It’s also a little pathetic (sorry, it is though).  That’s why although I bitch about dating occasionally (ok, a lot), I’m not really that obsessed with will he/ won’t he… you know, will he/ won’t he call.  Will he/won’t he ask me out.  I don’t really care because I already have a lot on my plate.  I still have a lot of things I want to do and if Mr. Right for me comes along today or tomorrow he will be welcomed with opened arms but if he doesn’t I still have laundry to do…

Get a life…

Later Days,

-K

It most wonderful time of the year…

I mentioned in earlier posts that I would be returning to school.  I began going through the catalogue today and at first I was a little overwhelmed by all I would have to take and then I started to get excited (like I always do when returning to school).  Yes, I will probably be the oldest dame in all my classes.  No, all of my credits didn’t transfer.  Which means I will have to either “challenge” the courses or retake them… but I can’t help it,  I’m excited.  I will be on here bitching in a few months, I know, but today.  I’m excited.  And for me today is what counts.  I have been considering changing my blog to unFUN Philly (at least until I’m finished school) lol.

Later Days,

-K

Throw Back to the 1960s…

I haven’t bought a bathing suit since my youngest was 2.  She will be 11 in November.  I also have not been bath suit ready since then either.  I have lost all of the weight I wanted (by mistake) in the last couple of months, all but the final 15lbs.  I expect that to be gone soon as well.  So I have been bathing suit shopping.  Why the devil do damn near all bathing suits only come in two piece or skirted?  I am not “two-piece” ready and I don’t want to look like Lucille Ball at the beach either.  The one pieces that I do come across, show no cleavage (wtf) and pretty much have a turtle neck and long sleeves.  I have to find a bathing suit between now and next Saturday.  My only hope is that it isn’t online because I will have to pay next day or two day shipping 😦

In other news….  you knew it was coming, my shiny new bike is beginning to annoy.  Why because I forgot how new bikes can squeak.  He talks A LOT! and of course since he’s 25, the conversation is ALL ABOUT HIM, smh.  I forget, was I that narcissistic at 25?  I doubt it because by then I had two daughters and I couldn’t really afford to sing the “me me me” song because I was busy singing the “we” song, sigh.  The funny thing is, I have spent my whole life running from my family.  Trying to be my own person.  Every time I moved away, they would end up having to live with me.  What gets me more than anything is, when my mom and dad first got married, my aunts and uncles all lived with them at some point.  All I remember growing up was my parents bitching about it.  But by the time I was 20, they were living with me.  I found them an apartment.  I moved to Overbrook (the part of the city Will Smith is from) and they moved in with me again… when I left there, I moved into a beautiful home in West Philadelphia and they moved around the corner.  I was able to live alone for maybe 2 years and then, my parents got sick and now, my mother lives with me.   WHEW, deep breaths, lol.  I have totally moved off topic.  But after typing all of that I see why he’s annoying me.  Even playing a video game with him can be annoying.   Something will happen, I will say oh cool you got such and such.  He goes on some tirade about how great he is at it.  He may be speaking about something, if I don’t agree with his viewpoint, he changes his.  So sometimes it’s like having a ventriloquist act.  Bike rides are still great but the pixie dust is starting to settle and I’m starting to see him for him.  Not sure how much longer I will be with him but we’ll see.  I have a bad habit of doing this… when someone starts to get close I start finding all of their flaws.  I’m going to sit tight and wait this one out though.

Later Days,

-K

Old dog, new tricks…

I can stop bitching for a minute. No, my sinuses and allergies aren’t any better.  No, I haven’t found any extra money anywhere (this week).  I have gotten a new bike, we’ll call him Cannon because he looks like Nick Cannon.  Who’s Nick Cannon, Mariah Carey’s Mister.  This guy…

um, yummy right?

 

 

 

 

A SHINY new bike… with VERY inflated tires.  My bike is 9 years my junior.  It wasn’t expected and I may kick myself later because I am definitely eating where I shit.  He is nice, kind and quiet.  I love the fact that he’s quiet.  And boy can he ride.  I know, I know.  I’m bragging.  I know NOTHING screws me up faster than bragging about something  but damn it you guys have all been witness to my many minor break downs recently.  I’m laughing (for the time being).  I’m enjoying his company… right now that is more than enough. Anything else, I can wait for.  Is he the one, um IDK.  Do I care, um no.  Am I happily sore because of all the bike riding I have been doing for a week?  Hell yeah!  Do I care if it’s a little slutty, fuck no and I don’t care who judges.  A few of my gfs have been down to look him over and I have heard some very snide remarks.  Fuck ’em.

I need to go soak, I am taking a ride again tonight.

Later Days,

-K

The chase…

Well today I received an email from Airforce 1, very generic.  It said something along the lines of “… I hope you’re having a good day…” WTF?  I haven’t heard from you since our telephone conversation and then you just reappear with a BS email to my profile’s email.  He has my mobile number and my email address.  Why would you send an email there?  Whatever.  I am not one to chase a guy.  If I call/text/email you and I don’t get a response, I won’t attempt to contact you again until I hear from you.  I have gone years without speaking to someone and then when they call out of the blue or bump into me at some random place and ask why I haven’t called, I simply reply “I did, you never called back.” or “you said you’d call me back.”  I know it seems weird but honestly, if someone is interested, they will contact you.  Nobody is quite as busy as I am, if I can squeeze in 5 mins. to contact someone surely they can take 5mins to respond.  Maybe this why I’m single *shrugging*.  I just like to be chased, I like to be courted.  If a guy doesn’t think I’m worth it, oh well.

In other news Morocco also emailed me today.  He said he really enjoyed talking to me and that he hopes I have a good time at the party, WTF again.  So I send him back a text that said, “so you don’t plan on talking to me until next week?”  I’m still waiting for a response, douche.

In other, other news.  I still haven’t heard from Perry.  It’s been almost a month now.  What is wrong with these guys and their communication skills?  I will probably never know.  Idiots.

Later Days,

-K

One I didn’t tell you about…

We’ll call him Morocco because that’s where he is from.  I really didn’t think much of him because 1) he was visiting family in Morocco (apparently he has two children there and I believe a few brothers and sisters) and I didn’t know when/if he was coming back to Philly.  2) I’m kind of leery of African men because some African’s don’t really like African-Americans too much.  They see us as spoiled and they believe that we waste a lot of our opportunities.  I have dated a couple in the past and I don’t really care to be lectured again.  3) he was sexy as hell and normally, when I meet a guy I find extremely attractive, they tend to not feel the same way.  Give me a guy I think is fugly (check Kay Speak) and he won’t go away, he’s proposing marriage on the first date, he wants to buy me a car and give me his pay check, lmao. 4) He’s a full-time student and he works about 3 jobs.  When the hell is he going to have time to date my ass?

Apparently, though Morocco has found himself smitten with muah.  He must have “favorited” me on the site because whenever I’m on for more than two minutes he sends me an IM.  We were IM’ing tonight when the site started living up to its name and acting stupid.  I couldn’t get anything through except emails (which I hate because it takes to damn long to get a reply).  We always have good chats via IM.  Tonight, after about a month of IM’ing(I log on about twice a week so it’s not as long as it seems) I gave him my mobile number.  He called, we talked, I laughed with him not at him (rare for me – I’m normally laughing at you, you just don’t know it).  As we were bringing the conversation to an end, he says “I really would like to meet you face to face.”  Since he just came back from Morocco with a layover in Paris (lucky dog), I figured he’d be seriously jet lagged.  Not to mention the time difference.  So I tell him, I’m not available this weekend (I’m such a lying whore, I have a birthday party – I may/may not attend Saturday but other than that I’m free) don’t judge.  I also tell him I’m taking the girls to the shore next weekend but I will be free on Thursday or Friday of next week.  Why you may ask am I making him jump through so many damn hoops?  I have a REALLY bad habit of bending over backward for ppl.  I do it so often ppl, after a while, start expecting me to do so.  If you need me to do something, I move my schedule around.  If you want to see me and I have plans I cancel them.  If you need money, I juggle bills around until I can accommodate you.  I decided when I broke it off (TOTALLY) with TV Guy this year, no more bending over backward for ppl who weren’t at least holding my feet.  So, because I don’t want to be drunk off my ass all weekend long, as far as he knows I have plans this weekend.  I don’t want to rush back from the shore the following weekend (yes, the Jersey Shore – hanging head in shame just thinking of Snookie) because I want the kids to have a great time.  That leaves him Thursday and Friday of next week (the 18th and 19th) I am sure if we start dating I will have to be patient and work around his schedule for work/school.  So damn it he can do some hoops for me now before we start.  I do like this guys personality and he’s nice on the eyes.  Now if he has a big bike, likes to ride, he’s a gentleman and he can put up with my shit… he’s a keeper, lol.

In other news (what did you think I was done?)… Rembrandt hasn’t called me or texted all weekend, I STILL have yet to hear from Airforce 1.  I guess I can put a line through their names.  Now I’m done.

Later Days,

-K

Well ain’t that about a bitch!

I checked my email and noticed I had an email from this cutie on OKSTUPID.  I sent him an email Thursday or Friday.  Not only did he take his sweet time answering me but he also sent me an email meant for someone else… for your viewing pleasure and my humiliation:

Lol sorry. I’m new to okcupid and I didn’t feel comfortable with updating my profile. Your very pretty! Lol, but u don’t look 22 though. What part of jamiaca are you from? I’m born here but all of my family is from Jamaica too. St. Anns to be exact. How long have you been in amercia?

First let me start by saying, he’s a tool because he either didn’t read my profile or he cut and pasted this into a message box and forgot to edit it to fit me…  I have no problem with the latter, I do “template” emails too.   The other reason he’s a tool.  If a woman tells you she is a certain age (which I didn’t, I never lie about my age), it’s NOT A fucking compliment to tell her she doesn’t look her gotdamn age unless you’re telling her she looks younger.  She’s knows you’re blowing smoke but at least she doesn’t have the urge to snap your neck.

Later Days,

-K

No means no DAMN IT!!!

On OKSTUPID.COM, they have this thing called “Quiver matches”.  They send pics to your personal email of ppl they think you are compatible with based on your search criteria and your “quick match” picks.  So if that’s the case, why is it that men I have selected the “hide” option or guys that I have given 1 star, are showing up in my damn “quiver matches”?  For that matter why is it that men I have selected to “hide” during my searches, keep popping the hell up in my searches?  Get it together Okstupid!

Later Days,

-K