It’s whatever…

Here’s the thing, I have been married.  I love the institution of marriage.  My parents have been together for over 40 years.  I loved being married, I just didn’t like who I was married to.  He cheated, he lied, he was put out.  When I put my ex husband out, I had a high school education, I hadn’t worked in two years (my ex-husband didn’t want me to work, a blog for another day) and I had a one year old daughter at home.  I went back to school, got my AS in Computer Science (which I really don’t use).  While I was in school I got a crappy job working in telemarketing selling insurance.  I quit after about two pay checks (I think 5 weeks) and started working in retail.  I later started temping and got a great job while still going to school at night.  I didn’t date until right before I graduated.  That union resulted in the birth of my youngest daughter.  Her father and I broke up 3 months into my pregnancy.  So I finished school with a 3 year old and newborn, working a full-time job.  I was twenty-three.  I tell you all of this because I want you to understand why I am not really worried about getting with someone else.  If the stars align and a wonderful man crosses my path who can put up with my shit, doesn’t lie or cheat.  Some who will watch my back and support me, fan-fucking-tastic.  If he doesn’t I’m fine with that too.

When I meet someone new I don’t hear wedding bells, I don’t wonder what our kids will look like.  I wonder if you’re supportive.  I wonder if you are a man of your word.  I watch what you do, not what you say.  I don’t trust easily but when I do, you have it until you give me a reason to take it away.  I know I am a good woman, so for every unreturned phone call, every man who has passed on being with me, I feel lucky. I feel lucky because I know that he just moved out of the way for the right guy to come along.  The right guy to be in my life and he has moved me one step closer to that man.  He has moved me closer to the guy who will appreciate me, care for me and watch out for me.  The guy who will be on time, the guy who’d rather cut off his arm than to hurt me.  The man who will move Heaven and Earth for me because he knows I will do the same.

All of my readers who are going through the process of elimination with me, don’t worry he/she is out there.  Just continue bettering yourself, continue searching because that stuff about “when you aren’t looking is when you’ll find him/her” is bullshit.  Because unless he works for a utility company or a parcel service, he/she is not going to walk up to your door.  Go out, do what you like to do because that is where you will find a person that shares your interest.  Just make sure you are prepared for the person you are looking for.  Make sure you have something to bring to the table besides a pretty face and great sex.  Because 40 years from now, it won’t matter.

Later Days,

-K

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