Get a life…

Do you want some good advice about dating?  Get a life.  Seriously, get one.  Stop sitting around waiting for someone to text/call or email you.  Stop waiting for him to call you and make plans.  Life is happening around you and you are missing it waiting for him.  Call your besties, your girlfriends (for all you guys that don’t speak “girl” besties and Girlfriends aren’t the same thing), call your cousins or sisters, coworkers.  Hell send out an evite or FB event to everybody you know if you got to and go the hell out.  Go listen to some Jazz, go swing your hips and ass at a new night spot (if you don’t have hips and ass buys some, they are rather cheap).  Call your grandma, aunties, next door neighbors and take them to lunch (who knows they may even drop a little old school knowledge on you).  Go to an Art exhibit.  Go to a movie, learn (if you don’t know how) to go out to dinner alone or travel alone.  Hell learn a new language.

Why sit by and let life pass you by waiting on a damn phone or some damn boy.  Go get a life.  These men are out there but you have to do more than eat, sleep, work and pay bills. My Grandmother use to tell us, ” a watched pot never boils”. You will go nuts if you sit around waiting for something to happen.  Go make it happen.  Being alone and being lonely are two different things.  You’re sitting @ home playing Scrabble or Jeopardy on FB.  Your going through thousands, upon thousands of damn profile pics.  You are having virtual conversations with ppl through text, IM or blogging.  Go have a real conversation.  Stop sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself and go do something.  If you’re broke (like me) and aren’t slutty enough to boost up the girls in a pushup bra friendly enough to get free drinks like me, go to free shit.  Check your local free paper, in Philly it’s the CITY PAPEREl Sol (for our spanish speaking brothers and sisters) and the Philadelphia Weekly.  They ALWAYS have free local events.  If you use the online version you can filter by date, location and time.  Have a friggin wine tasting at your home, a stock the bar party, a dinner party and tell everyone to invite a single person (if inviting a girl, tell her to invite a guy and vice versa so that you have an equal amount of the opposite sex).  Hell have a beer pong party or a Kegger (remember how fun those were) at your house, who cares if you’re 30 or 40 something.  Hell have a tattoo party.  If you don’t have children (which I do) make every weekend or your free weekends (if you do have kids) party time.  And when your phone does ring, don’t cancel your plans or blow off Granny to accommodate these douch bags fellas.  Tell them you’re busy this weekend how about “Insert new date here”, if they’re busy on said new date, tell them to give you a call when they’re free again.  I don’t care how much you like the guy.  Stop being so damned available.  No one really sees the value in anyone or anything they haven’t worked for.  I’m not telling you to play games, just don’t be so damn available. If they like you, they will make time for you and they will be there when your schedule frees up. (*Sidebar – also this is a pretty bad habit because when you do become busy, they will take it as rejection or you blowing them off because they’re used to you being so available).  Pick up the phone sometimes and call them and ask them out too! Go ahead be old fashioned (and be ready to be alone).  The reason you get so crazy waiting is because there is nothing else really going on in your life.  Trust me you will feel better.

The reason I believe guys go running whenever we REALLY like them is because they become our everything and that is a scary notion, that another person has nothing else better to do than wait for your call.  It’s also a little pathetic (sorry, it is though).  That’s why although I bitch about dating occasionally (ok, a lot), I’m not really that obsessed with will he/ won’t he… you know, will he/ won’t he call.  Will he/won’t he ask me out.  I don’t really care because I already have a lot on my plate.  I still have a lot of things I want to do and if Mr. Right for me comes along today or tomorrow he will be welcomed with opened arms but if he doesn’t I still have laundry to do…

Get a life…

Later Days,

-K

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2 thoughts on “Get a life…

  1. Some interesting ideas here. Yeah, I’d say being super available isn’t a good thing from some experiences my friends have had. I don’t date because I come from a culture where family generally takes care of the future arrangements. So I kind of live my life with no concern about guys at all enjoying art exhibits, dinners and nights with girls.

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