Monthly Archives: April 2012

Guys I want your honest opinion…

Okay, I haven’t been getting many hits on my profile lately, all of maybe, let me count… none.  So I’m posting my profile and want you to read it and critique it, let me have it and give me suggestions on what I should add or take away.  I’m serious… because my pics are good but I suck at talking about myself like most online daters, so for your horror reading pleasure my profile:

Hi my name is Kay. I am originally from Philly and I’m a divorced mother of two. I like Football and Basketball, coronas, laughing, traveling and spending time with my family. I like impromptu BBQs when the weather is nice. I’m looking for a serious relationship and figured with me being new to the area, this is an easy way to meet someone, race isn’t important.

If you like the things I listed above and are interested in getting to know me, send me an email.
I know you probably hear this all the time but I’m a pretty fun person to be around. I believe in living a life of no regrets, because of this I try new things and travel to new places just for the heck of it. I’m not just looking for dates, I’m also looking for friends to help me navigate the single scene down here too.

So after your eyes stop bleeding, send me plenty o’ comments, lol.  I’ll be waiting with a low ball of ice-cold vodka.  Thanks guys…

❤ and Later Days,

-K

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you ever wonder when???

Have you ever wondered when is it your turn?  Your turn to be happy?  Your turn to live your life the way you want? When will you fix the things that have been broke in you?  I do, all the time.  I tell men all the time when I meet them, I hate romantic comedies.  What I never tell them is why.  I hate them, it’s because I don’t believe they are real.  Romantic comedies are as real to me as the Borg on Star Trek (hell yes I’m a Trekkie).  Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m blessed in so many ways.  But I’m waiting and working toward more and it feels like I’m on a habitrail sometimes.  I look at those movies with the guy who treats the girl shitty, realises his mistake and does everything in the last 25 minutes of the movie to fix it, to let her know she’s the one.  That he can’t live without her and I think… That’s such BULLSHIT!  In real life he would never chase her, he’d think “oh well, she doesn’t want me, fine on to the next one.”  And it’s not just me, I read other blogs from single women and men and they are all preaching the same shit.  I have my quirks but I am a DAMN good woman.  I cook, I clean, I keep it sexy.  I’m great in bed (don’t believe me, I have references).  If you’re sick I make you well, I compromise when in a relationship.  I get and keep the best jobs and when I leave one I have an even better one lined up ready for me to start after a 3 week Vacation.  I travel, I’m well read, I speak eloquently.  I compliment my partner and I cheer him on when he needs it, I’m real with him when he needs grounding and I’m not really all that picky when it comes to what type of man I want to be with.  I just ask for love, support, honesty and respect.  You would think I was asking for a damn Blood Diamond or a star out of the sky.  They want support but don’t give it, they want the things I mentioned but don’t want to give it.  It’s crazy.  I’m working on myself and they think there is nothing wrong with their Cray cray ass.

I’m not giving up, I working on me but damn in the mean time in between time can I date some nice guys?

Just pondering some shit – Love and Later Days,

-K

being single…

I am almost scared to say it out loud but I like it, being single.  I like sleeping alone at night, making snow angels in the middle of the bed.  I like not having to compromise.  I like going to the movie I want to see and the restaurant I like to eat at… I like sitting around with my hair a mess and no makeup on.  I like smoking and drinking as much as I like… I like watching what I want to see on television.  I like just doing what I want.  So if I like being single so much, why am I looking to date online?  Well I do miss having a man in my life, when I’m sick or when I’m going through something with my parents (in case you didn’t know they’re both sick).  When something great is happening in my life or something I hate to do around the house needs to be done, i.e. trash being put out, the house needing to be painted, car washed, etc.  I also like a man being around when I need to be taking care of, you know a bike ride.

The truth of the matter is as much as I would love to have an Idris Elba, Shemar Moore, Laz AlansoChiwetel Ejiofor, Columbus Short,  or Mike Colter in my life, I’m not ready.  I have a lot of things to work on in my life and a lot of work to still do on me before I can get into any type of relationship.   So until I’m ready, I’m in no hurry.  When I’m ready and able, I will be in a relationship.  If I got into one before then, it would be like all the rest, when I meet the guy, instead of thinking of our wedding day, I will be thinking about how and when we will break up.  I’m not ready.  I think as women that is something we have a hard time adjusting to… we are taught from the minute they “it’s a girl” that we are supposed to be married and have children.  We hear in Fairy tales and see it in teen dramas and later chic flicks.  We are supposed to have a family and settle down.  Well I tried it and I wasn’t ready.  Even if the bastard hadn’t cheated on me, we would still be divorced by now because I wasn’t ready.

My advice to you single ppl reading my blog is get ready BEFORE you get in a relationship.  You have nothing but time 🙂

❤ and Later Days,

-K

Only in Philadelphia…

Top ten things Fun Philly will miss:

10) The way instinctively, when riding SEPTA (South Eastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority), you know where to go.

– Whether exiting or getting onto a bus/trolley/train, Philadelphians know where/how to get on and off.  You know which side of the stairs to walk on (left coming down, right going up) without the use of arrows.

9, 8, 7) The food, definitely the food.

– This is going to sound gross when speaking about food but, you can’t spit in any direction in Philly and not hit a carry out/ eat in restaurant.

– The chinese restaurants on every street.  There is some sort of Chinese restaurant on literally every street.  If you come to a street without one, no worries, one must have just closed down but another is on its way to take its place.

– Water Ice, Tastykakes and Cheese Steaks. You can NOT eat these items in any other city, period, end of story, moving on…

6) The Corner Bar.

– There is a bar on just about every corner, just like Chinese restaurants.  Every one you go to, if you visit more than 2 or 3 times, will make you feel like Norm from Cheers.

5) The Philly Bop, in this case, not the dance – which carries this same name.

– I’m talking about the way EVERY Philadelphian walks, whether male or female.  It’s actually a defense mechanism, lol.  The walk says, don’t mess with me, I have something in my purse/pocket that will straighten you right out if you try to hurt/rob/rape me.  I notice whenever I’m not in Philly it disappears, I walk more… Lady like, lol.

4) Frowning.

– This goes along with the bop, you don’t smile – EVER!  Smiling says “please rob/rape/hurt me.  I’m happy please make me sad or angry”.

3) Elevator Button Pusher.

– I have had a love/hate relationship with these folks for years.  Philly is a city of skyscrapers.  Most buildings in Center City are over 7 floors high.  When you get on an elevator there is always that one person that pushes the button about 7 times before the elevator door closes.  If you’re alone on an elevator, you become the Button Pusher.

2) Campus.

– Definitely my school.  I didn’t want to go to Community College of Philadelphia or CCP, initially but after being on campus this long, I have learned that it’s more intimate than a University, been there – done that, it’s more like a family.  The other thing is they have so many things to offer; family services (healthcare, childcare, work-study programs) to support groups, free tutoring and honestly I could go on forever.  I will miss my CCP.

AND #1

The food carts, my favorite thing for lunch is a hot sausage on a hot dog roll with everything on it and a Pepsi.  For breakfast, bacon, egg and cheese on a bagel and coffee.  My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Although I will miss that and many other things from the city of Brotherly Love, the city I have loved for 35 years… There is so much more I am looking forward to in SC.  There are no EXs there (well one but he doesn’t count) and then there are no ghosts from my past threatening to pop up and ruin my happiness.  There is the prospect of a new life and love.  I’m ready to go, I have been ready to go but Philadelphia, you will be missed 🙂

❤ u Philly

and Later Days,

-K

um okay, waste my time…

I think I speak for the Hundreds of Thousands of online daters, when I say stop wasting my time, seriously.  Who is putting together these formulas for finding a mate?  A chimp or are they throwing bird seeds on a keyboard and letting a chicken just peck us up a match.  Everyone who reads my blog (now) can see I am a BLACK woman, correct?  So why on earth are you sending me matches of men who the first line in their profile says they aren’t interested in dating outside of their own race.  I’m not offended and I, personally, am like Jesse James with the Rainbow Coalition, I have and do date every race of man, yeah I know, it didn’t sound as slutty in my head but I digress.  As long as a man can support himself (sorry guys who still live at home – just don’t like sneaking bike rides), he treats me with respect, smells go and he’s good to me, he has a shot.  I have dated men who have weighed over 300 lbs and some that weighed less than 150.  I have dated men as tall as 6’9″ (I’m 5’4″) and as short as 5’5″.  Along with being in relationships with black men, I was in a relationship with two white men, one latin man and a couple of asian men (no smartasses, not all at once).  So I don’t care but some ppl do have a preference, does it make them racist, no!  No more than men who prefer blondes to brunettes and brunettes to red heads.  That’s just what they are comfortable with, so stop sending me the profiles of men who aren’t into black women.

That is all,

-The Management

I think I will steal this idea…

I just began following a blog, it’s called 30 days of honesty.  I kind of dig that idea.  I lie during my everyday life to a lot of folks, mainly to those I love and care for the most… why?  Because honestly, I don’t think ppl really care to know the truth, they really don’t care how I’m doing – they want to hear “fine”, they don’t want to know I’m frightened by both my parents health and my future in SC, and they damn sure don’t really care how I’m doing in school.  So sorry guys, tag you’re it.  I think if I honestly (there is that word again) told ppl what I was thinking, they would 1) run away screaming, 2) run away crying, 3) their head would explode or        4) simply just run away. The only ppl I think I’m actually honest with are you guys and that’s probably because you don’t really know me, well actually, you guys know me better than the ppl in my RL.  So starting in May, I will be doing 31 days of Honesty, not to top chicky’s blog but because May has 31 days in it, lmao (You are forewarned).  So those of you who haven’t stopped reading me because of my lack of funny these days or because of my lack of dating or even because of my inactivity, you may want to skip next month.  I’m doing it for me more so than for you guys, so again, you have been warned.

Later Days,

-K

Well…

I haven’t been up to much, I dropped my Math class, I may have told you that already, I am however, going to take the prep class they are offering (it’s free).  When I retake this class I will be better prepared.  I have met the cutest 27 year old man ever!  I gave him my number, although he acts interested, I haven’t heard from him *shrugging* doesn’t matter, I have no intention on starting anything with me leaving in a couple of months but he is pretty to look at, lol.

Nothing new, my dad is back at the nursing home, I go to court for guardianship soon.  My mom is still in the hospital, the girls are driving me ape-shit… so basically, nothing new other than my spotfly account, lol.

Later days,

-K

Miss me???

What have you missed, let’s see.  I am going cray cray in school.  Both my parents were in the hospital up until yesterday.  Now only my mother is, I have two papers due because my dumbass forgot about one of them and I didn’t print out the rewrite of another one.  I’m failing my Math class and oh did I mention I REALLY have no time for dating, sigh.  In other news… the move to SC has been moved back from the next two years to June 20th and I have yet to fill out the paperwork because I am terrified that (although I have never committed one) they will find a felony on my criminal background check, I know I’m cray cray too.  Then there is the fact that I can’t find my daughters’ birth Certificates even though I have kept them in their baby books for the last 15 years and the apartment wants a copy.  I’m losing it ppl and fast.

However there is a silverlining of sorts… there is this beautiful man in my ENG class.  Imagine Aladdin but the real life version.  He’s in my ENG class, I never noticed him before a few weeks ago, we had a break session to “flesh out” our papers .  Yes he’s younger (don’t judge) but he’s sexy as hell.  He thinks I am funny and smart (we know he doesn’t read this blog, lol).  He gave me his cell number and texts me periodically to “check” on me.  I would probably ask him out for drinks (not sure if he’s old enough – again, don’t judge) if it weren’t for the fact that I was moving to SC… OMG, why does the universe play with me so?  What am I supposed to do, get with this guy and then when I’m ready to move offer him a long distance relationship? (Yeah he diggs me too – and yes I said diggs) Or am I supposed to ask him to move with me? Yeah, I know, which is why I haven’t made any kind of moves and have kept it… casual.  Even though every ENG class, he smiles at me and walks up and brushes the hair from my crazed eyes or touches my shoulder and asks how I’m doing.  Even though everytime I see him I wanna kiss those soft looking lips, sigh.  I just say “Hi” back and fumble around in my bag like I’m still a girl fresh out of High School.  I know sad.  Hopefully, I will find his equivilent in SC.  Did I mention I have a pool at the new house?

Later Days and <3,

-K