Gotta shake this feeling…

It may be my isolation recently but I have been missing my ex a lot lately. It may also be the fact that I have been up late at night and he is one of the few ppl who is up at this hour.  Tv Guy and I have never been apart this long before, although I have always wanted “the last break up” to actually beTHE last break up this one seems to be the one that actually stuck.

I have been fighting every urge to call him. I know nothing will come of us being together but he was my friend for so long, I feel like something is missing when we don’t talk for any length of time. I know he doesn’t feel the same. I have always felt like a place holder in his life. I felt like I was always giving and receiving little or nothing in return. So I ended it, time and again, hoping he would come to his senses and see what he’s missing but it never happened. We would end up back together out of mutual loneliness. His last attempt, a few months ago, was weak at best and I blew him off (not that way you pervs).

I want to date but time is the only thing I really don’t have, not to mention my little relocation 500 miles away from Philly. What do u tell a guy u just met and are interested in seeing more than once? If I say something like, “I just want to have fun, nothing serious”, he thinks it’s just a sexual relationship. If I don’t tell him I’m relocating to SC, then I’m a douche for letting him become vested in a relationship that has no potential of going anywhere unless he is willing to relocate. So what do I do? Any suggestions? I can’t start up anything with someone in Myrtle Beach because I don’t know when I will be relocating to Myrtle Beach it could be December or as late as March 2013. If me and said lucky bachelor get along via email and phone (won’t be returning to Myrtle Beach until I relocate permanently) and we meet in person and can’t stand each other then what?

Thinking too much, going to bed. Night all.

Love and later days,

-K

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