Okay so this post was supposed to be about something else. Instead after reading a couple of the blogs I follow, I decided this blog needed to be out there in cyber space. I blogged recently about guys not pursuing women anymore and other wonderful women who follow me (is that what u call it when you’re not actually twittering a tweet?) Anywhosal… They all are saying the same shit. Women as far away as the UK are feeling the pain. I reassured my readers that it’s not us, it has to be them… My fine male readers, I have to admit 😦 (sadly) I was wrong. I stand corrected. It is our fault. Not all of it is our fault but a lot of it is.
The pattern I am seeing (which I am guilty of as well) is if we like a guy we let him do or say whatever he wants just to keep him around. The guys that we really don’t care for all that much get’s bitched out if we sneeze and he doesn’t say “Bless u”. We turn into high school girls all over again if we’re into a guy or if he is (let’s be honest we’re all adults here) good in bed. You ever notice that if you’re really into a guy, he’s not that interested in you? You wanna know why? The old biddies had it right. We don’t make them wait anymore for anything. We don’t make guys we like wait to gain our trust. They don’t have to wait to find out where we live, to get a home cooked meal. To get in our pants, to get our special bedroom tricks ;). We don’t make them wait anymore for anything, they take us for granted and we piss and moan to everyone but them until we can’t take it anymore, then and only then do we hold their “hands to the fire”. Then we turn into a screaming, window breaking, tire slashing crazy woman. To avoid all of this all we have to do is say no, make him work for our affection, make him earn our damn trust and respect. That’s all it takes to keep you from dressing in black sweat pants and a hoodie, kneeling in the dark pouring a 5lb bag of sugar into his gas tank. Smh.
When he says to you, hey it’s Friday night, I’m not busy. Would u like to hang out. You tell his lazy ass no. If I have to get dressed and do my hair and make up, he needs to take my ass out somewhere. Why spend an hour on hair and make up to go sit on his couch or worst yet sit on yours watching a movie and eating gross takeout or even worst yet, cooking for his lazy ass. And I bet his cheap ass won’t even offer to by the food he wants you to cook.
Stand up with me ladies, stop letting them take advantage of you. He wants you to do something like meet his ex or after you break up, meet his next just to make them feel more comfortable about their own relationship with them, tell him to go fuck himself.
When you walk up to a door and he doesn’t open it, screw being embarrassed, stand there until he opens the damn door. He’ll ask why you’re standing there, tell him.
Speak up for yourself, he can’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself. Stop expecting him to be a damn mind reader. That stacks the deck against you and him. You’re setting him up to fail and yourself up for disappointment. If he doesn’t respect you, fuck him, move on. Don’t stick around and let him treat u like dirt just to have anyone in your life. Remember he can’t treat u like a door mat unless you lay down and write WELCOME on your back.
Stop playing games. I know u heard about that stupid ass book. Don’t buy into the hype. Act like a woman, think like a man… That’s bullshit. You’re a chick be one. How are you listening to a man who was divorced at least 3 times and I think all were because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. How about you act like a lady and think like a woman. You want to call him call him, it doesn’t matter if you just met him on an elevator. Fuck the bullshit. Screw the dumb “if he doesn’t call and make plans by Wednesday don’t go out” crap. If he calls Friday and asks you to go out and you’re free and want to see him, go. Life is too short for all those games. If you want to sleep with him on the first date go ahead but please don’t do it just because you think it might “keep him interested”, it won’t. To them it doesn’t matter. If they like you today, they will like you tmrw. I personally have a “get to know you before I screw u” policy. You never know someone’s crazy until they show you they’re crazy. That policy has been good for weeding out most of the cray crays.
Bottom line, stop with the rules. We put them in place only to change them on a whim anyway. Confuse a guy too much and he just decides your not worth the trouble. Go with the flow, do what feels right for you. You wanna be happy, stop worrying about appearance (looks fade) and stop trying to make the guys stick to a specific pattern (he has to be cute, funny, sensitive, love my family, want kids, yada-yada-yada). Truly enjoy dating. Have a ball doing it. But stop complaining about what’s wrong with them, first we need to fix ourselves and stop being so fucking picky.
Love and Later Days,