This has been the worst year of my life. Seriously, not being dramatic here, let’s do a 2012 recap shall we? Started taking my RN classes, started failing math. Began planning my move for June, my mother has stroke number five in March. Not knowing how that was going to work out, I cancelled the move. Didn’t stop going to school because my mom would kill me, if when she recovered, she found out I quit school for her. I ran myself crazy until she was released from rehab in August. Late September my oldest daughter ran away from home for a week, my dad died in October… they didn’t tell me until 3 days later (they knew if I didn’t visit any other day I would show up on Thursday, they told me Wednesday morning). After which I would spend the next month and a half running back and forth to the ER because my mother is having seizures every other day. I felt like I was losing my mind, not knowing that I was going through the grieving process (I still am). I ran around (more liked called/texted around) cursing out ppl for random reasons. I spent most nights, after everyone went to sleep in a bottle of booze, didn’t care what I drank as long as I had a buzz and didn’t want to think/feel/deal.
After my mom’s last stroke my life became stunted because she had limited abilities, she could no longer talk or understand what was being said unless u used simple sentences. She got frustrated a lot and cried often, she’s doing a little better now, she can move her weak side a little. Now I have absolutely no money because I can’t probate my dad’s estate without getting guardianship of my mother. Which I have been trying to do for months. The funeral parlor doesn’t have his death certificate yet, it’s been over 2 months. I barely have time to wash my ass, so cleaning my house is almost always out of the question.
What does the New Year hold for me and my family? Guardianship granted, my dad’s finances finally in order and a move to Myrtle Beach. With the move I get the help I need for my mom and hopefully she will continue to get better and make some new friends. Me and the girls will be in a better living environment and I can finally go back to work and school (never thought I would miss work). I have been feeling isolated, I know my mom is probably feeling it more than I am.
Hoping and Praying for a better New Year for me, my family and all of you. Hell after 2012, anything would be better, lol.
Love and Later Days,