What do I want? I’ll tell you what I want…

I figured I would share with you what I want in a man, since this is supposed to be a dating blog and all I have been doing for the past fifty couple of months is whine about my shitty little life, I figure I would go back to basics. So here goes…

I want a guy who can be silly sometimes but not make everything a joke.

Loves to smile. A good smile wins out over great looks any day. Add a great laugh and you had me at hello, lol.

Loves movies. Although I’m not a big fan of television, I love a good action, drama, horror or Period piece, especially if it is something historical.

Loves to talk, I can’t stand to have a one sided conversation. If I’m talking a blue streak and all he can say is yes, no or grunt, there will be no second date.  Here’s the catch, just don’t talk about random shit or random ppl I don’t know either, actually have something to say.

He doesn’t get mad when I’m busy because although my mother won’t be living with me anymore, I still have daughters I’m raising. I also want to have a life and friends. He has to understand I like my space as much as I like spending time with him. I always need a little Kay time because I’ve had so little over the last 19 years.

Maturity.  I can’t stress that one enough. I have enough arguing, tantrums, door slamming, yelling and silent treatments that I have to referee at home between my two daughters, I don’t want to deal with any of that crap with my partner.

Communication has to be key. Kind of an addendum to the maturity clause… I don’t like to argue but don’t get it twisted… my mom didn’t raise a bully but she didn’t raise a bitch either. I can give as well as I can take, however I have “been there, done that” as far as argumentative and volatile relationships.  I want to laugh more than cry.

Supportive and encouraging. I think that is why I have really had  difficulty with dealing last year. I needed someone in my life who was strong when I was weak. To hold me, tell me everything is going to be okay and I believe it.

Responsible and accountable. I’m so sick of irresponsible men who aren’t accountable for their actions. To me that lives in the heart of every adult. Life is about choices, I tell my girls this everyday. Not all of the decisions we make are the correct ones but it’s not the bad choices that define us, it is what we do after a bad choice is made.

Someone who has a good balance of introvert and extrovert. I love a good party, loud music and meeting new ppl as much as soft Jazz music, a good book and a nice glass of wine.  I need a man who is comfortable around strangers and doesn’t want to just “make an “appearance” but also likes to curl up on the couch with me and watch a good movie.

A man who is secure in both his manhood and our relationship. I’m not big on PDA (public displays of affection). I think that when a couple is secure in their relationship and trust one another, other ppl know they’re a couple just in how they interact and treat each other. I don’t think someone has to spend the whole night holding my hand, smacking me on my ass, his hand on the small of my back or around my waist, with his tongue down my throat to prove we are a couple. He doesn’t have to call me or want me to “check in” to feel secure.

He has to be a gentleman, PERIOD. Hold my chair and the door, light my cigarette, help me with my coat.

Take care of me when I’m sick. That’s the easiest one. Bring me soup (hot and in a damn bowl, don’t just roll the can into my room). Bring me some gingerale, juice, Kleenex and make sure I have the remote. After that leave me alone unless I ask for something.

Romance and no routine.  I want flowers sometimes for no reason. A call to say I love you (if we are at that point in our relationship) or just to see how my day went, not everyday because that’s not special, that’s just a habit. As far as the routine part… I don’t want every Sunday to be date night or Friday night to be sex night. I don’t want to know where we are going until we actually make plans. Bored ppl cheat. I have enough routine raising my kids, caring for my mother, going to school and working.

Fidelity, loyalty and respect. You don’t want to sleep with me or be in a relationship anymore, just say so, respect me enough to move on rather than cheat. I’d rather you hurt me with the truth, than kill me with a lie.

Be yourself, not who you think I want… I have been with men who faked knowledge or interest in certain things to get close to me and “know it alls” know everything but the fact that “know it alls” annoy the shit out of me.

Keep the drama. If I want drama in my life I will turn on the CW and watch Vampire Diaries or Arrow.  One of the reasons I hate Chick Flicks is because the story is the same and it fucks up women’s views on relationships. Boy meets girl, boy and girl go through conflict. Boy or girl realizes they were wrong or an idiot, they get back together. The relationship is stronger and better because of said conflict, they live happily ever after. The End. So now you have a bunch of women watching this shit, they feel they’re relationship is terrible because there is no drama, they believe that for their relationship to progress pass this point, they have to go home start shit with their significant others, break up and then cry because they don’t know what they did wrong, Smh. Idiots. No Drama for Kay!

I want a good listener. Not that I need to talk all the time but when I do it would be nice to know you heard everything I said and not just the last sentence (Yup, I know that trick… I invented).

Oh and did I mention? Great sex!!!

I think that covers everything. Do you notice height, weight, looks and finances never came up? Because I don’t have a preference on any of those things. The characteristics I listed above is what I need to be happy. How do I know, because one or more of those things were missing in previous relationships, which is why I’m single.

Love and Later Days,

-K

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