Monthly Archives: February 2013

I feel like I need and AARP card and a stroller…

I have a few fellow bloggers who are dating online, they’re all seeming to have the same problem, older men chasing them… Me, I’m having the opposite problem, I have a bunch of adolescents chasing me. Every email I have gotten has been from boys who haven’t started shaving yet. With my oldest daughter being 16, a 20 year old isn’t all that appealing to me. He’s four years older than my daughter and 16 yrs younger than me.  He has more in common with her than me. Why they would be chasing a woman my age is beyond me. Idk, you guys figure it out let me know.

Love and Later Days,

-K

I’ve gotten better but I still have a long way to go…

I was afraid for a little while not to long ago, that I was becoming an alcoholic. And not the smooth Dean Martin and the Rat Pack type but the wake up in jail, “what happened” Dean Martin in Rio Bravo type.  I just wasn’t handling the pressure of all that was hoof on too well. I could make excuses for it but at the end of the day it was all me… It didn’t help that I had someone in my life at the time that supported my bad behavior. If I wanted to stop drinking for a few days, clear my head (oh yeah, it was that bad… Had to take days off from drinking like it was a 9-5), try to get a hold on what was going on… Here she’d come with a bottle or bottles.  She was like that lady at work, you tell her you’re going on a diet Monday and she comes to your desk with cookies at lunch and tell you she forgot about your diet.

The other thing was I couldn’t shake her, she’d be at my house early in the morning banging on my door screaming my name from my porch, ready for the crazy part? She had a key to my house so she didn’t need to act like that… She was always around, always had some type of drama and when she didn’t wake up with drama, she created her own, going as far as to pick fights with her daughters. I can’t think of one day I’ve known her that there was peace in her life.  All that crazy can get to you.

Eventually I got my key back and she moved off the block about two months later but it’s funny how at the time her insanity was going on I didn’t notice. As long as I had her noise, it was like alcohol, I didn’t have to think with it around. Once I removed her from my life, things settled considerably and started moving in the right direction.

Quiet days, like this morning, are the best. I took them for granted, I will do my best not to do it again.

Love and Later Days,

-K

My house…

Well the Realtor called today. I got the house. I just need a month and a half’s rent to move in… I had 2700 in the budget for my housing. I have to pay 1275. I got the house if I want it.

So now we are just awaiting the money. Once that comes we are good to go. For that to come I need the letter from my mom’s doctor to send to the DoD and the a wait period of up to 30 calendar days.  Waiting on Social Security too. Not much longer thank God. Once I get my mom’s benefits straight I will feel better. I already signed her lease, after my Aunt takes a look at the condo for me and the girls, I will know what to do, either keep looking or send a deposit.  It’s in my price range and near the beach.

In other news, really trying to keep from paying for my membership to match.com right now. I don’t want it started this soon. You know how guys online are. You talk for a out two minutes online and they wanna meet, unless they are willing to drive over 400 miles to meet me, so might as well wait.  I think my bday gift to myself this year will be a six month membership, that will get me to the Fall, if by then I haven’t met anyone either through the site or in person, I will cancel the membership and stop dating altogether for a while because apparently it won’t be the men I have dates with the problem, it will officially be me.

I’m excited about the move as you all know because you have had to hear about for the last few years from one degree or another, now it’s time. In preparation to this move I have been trying to loose 40lbs and grow my hair out.  My hair is coming along wonderfully. The weight, well you gotta actually break a sweat to loose weight, so not so much. I’m trying to think of a fast way to get this weight off but everything I think of… I don’t wanna do *whining and stomping my feet with my head thrown back* where are the donuts I can eat to make the fat burn off? I can’t take diet pills because, well, they could kill me. I have an enlarged heart and asthma. If there is asprin in them it could cause me to have an attack, the speed that’s in diet pills will make my heart work even harder than it has to already (twice as hard as a normal heart). When I said I was dying to be then, I didn’t mean it literal. I want to get this weight off though, it’s killing my back and knees. I wake up every morning sore (I lie and say it’s my bed’s fault), I would love any suggestions, other tan don’t eat, I barely eat as it is… My weight gain is from too many coronas in the last year and no exercise. Let me know if you guys hear anything.

Love and Later Days,

-K

P.S. miss your comments!

So what are we doing that millions of Americans aren’t???

Everytime I see a Eharmony, Match or Chemistry commercial it says that millions of ppl find true love online dating. They say 5 out of 6 marriages start with online dating. Well what are they doing that me and countless other women aren’t doing. Are they getting script writers for their profile? Are they getting professional photos taken instead of random mobile pics?  Are they taking pics of themselves at church holding their bibles instead of a cup at a holiday party? Are they bribing their online suitors or kidnapping and duct taping them until they agree to a second date or long term relationship? What are these 5 chics doing that I’m not? I have to be the 6th chic and so do a bunch of other bloggers and friends I know. Maybe I’m the 6h chic because I don’t say I’m looking for a LTR. Idk, any thoughts?

Okay, I’m finished ranting. Seriously though, I forgot how addictive it can be to sign up on these sites. After posting you are waiting for your intro to be approved. You get excited whenever you see you have a new notification, only to find some perv asking “do you give head?” (true story, I got that gem yesterday).

Day one and frustration has begun to set in all over again. If there is one of my readers who knows how to write an awesome, message inducing profile, please advise. Smh.

Love and Later Days,

-K

The countdown has begun…

Did you miss me? Lol. I have been a little busy preparing for this move. Finally getting ready to go, just awaiting the financial part of this thing. Oh, did I mention I have no where to live when I move in less than 30 days?

The idea of leaving Pennsylvania for good has my family excited and ready to go.  I notice as we get closer to our move date my daughters and I are becoming increasingly impatient with all things Philly, specifically, the people.  My daughters’ frenemies are annoying them like crazy.  I’m noticing my home telephone ringing less and less as my daughters pull away from their friends in anticipation of making new ones. My mobile only rings when it has something to do with the move.  I have stopped answering my home phone because it mainly just rings to receive faxes or sales calls.  I have stripped my home of luxuries like call waiting and cable. We are reading and spending more time together because people are sick of hearing about our move. Although we are going along with our normal activities (my youngest still goes to cheerleading practice and my oldest still goes to ROTC meetings) our heart truly isn’t in it, we do them to pass the time.

We have internal countdowns going on, thinking constantly about what we will be doing this time next month.  Preoccupied with daydreams about shopping and decorating. I doubt any of us will be able to sleep the last few days preceding the move. 

I have been constantly making lists to make sure I don’t forget anything and then remembering something else to add. There is nothing left in my living room except my treadmill. I have two frying pans, one stock pot and one sauce pan because I threw out all other pots, pans and my living room furniture.

I’m giving the kids a pizza party, while they were making their lists of friends, I realized I don’t have anyone here I want to say goodbye to in person, except maybe my daughters’ father. I think about all the folks who were in my life over the years and I either have been betrayed by them or feel like they have let me down and I don’t have them in my life anymore.  Because I don’t go out, I haven’t made any new friends in years. Strange it doesn’t bother me… I know

Guess who’s back…

Hey! Missed me? I missed you.  I have been away but thinking of you all.  I have a few weeks left in Philly, thank God because any longer and I would make the damn news.  I have been pretty much avoiding ppl over the last few weeks. Mainly because a lot of folks like to piss in my Cheerios. I have been asked about three times today where I will be staying, as soon as I say 2 blocks from the beach someone is quick to point out Hurricane season. Even someone who is supposed to be happy I’m coming to SC.

Anywhosal, I have done it.  I have reactivated my Okcupid and Match.com accounts.  Not hoping to meet Mr. Right.  I just haven’t met anyone new in about a year.  I would like to just go out on a couple of dates. Get my feet wet.  I want to put on my makeup. Do my hair. Have a door held for me, my cigarette lit.  I get tired of being treated like a girl, that’s a friend instead of a girlfriend.  I know it’s my fault because I have always been comfortable with guys and it’s real easy to let my inner tomboy come out whenever I feel comfortable with a guy I like…  I have been working on it.  One of the ways I will be combating my inner tomboy is by buying some new lingerie. Hard to feel like a tomboy with a silk and lace covered thong going up your butt, lol.  I’m not saying I plan on playing any games or pretending to be something I’m not, I’m just saying I want the guys I’m going out with (yes I said guys, plural, more on that later) to get to know me before I start spewing off NFL facts and stats.

Dating:
Kay’s rules for dating. I don’t believe in dating one person at a time. It’s easy to get wrapped up in a person and force feelings on someone, if they’re the only person you’re seeing.

I don’t believe in lying about dating more than one person. However, I normally only bring it up if he asks.

I don’t believe in monogamous relationships unless we have both agreed to it, discussed and decided it’s what we both want. He has to know that getting into a long term relationship with me means you intend to marry me one day. Otherwise what’s the point? Why not continue to date? Because you don’t want me sleeping with any other man? News flash, it doesn’t work. Why jump from one relationship to the next? We get together and stay together until one of us gets bored. No thanks.

So, I put myself back on the market. Looking through match.com’s line up before I decide whether I will be paying for a membership.  I really think I won’t pay until next month when I’m completely relocated. I want to go to their mixers and “stirs” (I think they call them) which will be difficult here in Philly since I’m registered with my zip code in SC.  I figure since I’m paying extra for that feature, I want to use it. I think I will do better with those features anyway because I come off better in person than I do online anyway. I want to put on a pretty dress, dangling earrings,some high heels and drink some colorful cocktails, while holding a pretty clutch bag. Even if I don’t meet anyone, I will be outside! No talk about medications, school, bickering between two teenagers, no talk of moves, nada. Just me being a grown up.

Looking forward to it…

Love and Later Days,

-K