Monthly Archives: December 2016

Decoding text messages…

I heard this one the other day on the Steve Harvey Show.  I don’t normally watch but I was trying to put Bubba down for his nap, which means I was in the living room channel surfing.

Anywhosal, there was this pretty chic on his show, she was telling Steve that she couldn’t understand what some guy she had been dating meant by the texts he sent. He went from texting everyday, all day to only responding to her text.  They sat there going through the texts, line by line trying to figure out what he may have meant by some of the text.  He would end most of his text with “you’re right beautiful”, “I’m sorry, my queen” and all types of crap like that.  By the end of the segment he was talking about fixing her up with some other dude.

Here’s the problem with the segment, there was nothing to decipher. They apparently went out the night before, she sent him a message saying she had a great time and she was home safely. He texts back, “great, I’ll call you before I go to sleep.”  NO MESSAGES.  She gets up the next morning sends a text, he apologizes and goes about his day.  She says she didn’t receive any messages from him that day or for a few days after. Hello!  That was the message! When a man likes you and he’s interested; he will call, text, send flowers, hell he’ll send smoke signals if need be, to let you know he’s interested. Some folks will say well he could have been busy.  He could have been running late… yup and he could have been kidnapped by Martians and anal probed but if any of those things had happened he still would have made time to send off a text, even if all it said was “hi”,”thinking of you” or “getting probed up the ass, call you when I get back to Earth” because that man wouldn’t want to give you the impression that his lack of attention means he’s  not interested.

More time passes and she sends him another text and says some shit like, “miss hearing from you”, he sends back “Just because he’s not talking to her, doesn’t mean he’s not thinking of her” um yeah, it does… She sends back, “actions speak louder than words”, he says “you’re right beautiful, things have been crazy at work… I just need some time”.  And there it is… Someone who wants to be with you, will make time for you.  Whether it’s a phone call to hear your voice, a spontaneous date or inviting you over for take out.  He’s going to make time.  Now you can sit there and shake your head at me and make excuses all day long for that dude but he wasn’t feeling her or he was deciding between her and someone else. Either way she wasn’t a big priority to him and he did everything but come out and say the words.

Women do this too… how many times have you gone out with a guy and he was nice enough but you weren’t feeling him or you weren’t sure about him? Then something happens: you get a flat tire or sick or just have the day off and he calls.  You tell him you have a flat and your stuck.  He offers to come get you, you say “no, that’s ok”. You’re home sick, dying… he calls and offers to bring you some chicken soup, ginger ale and to throw some cuddles your way, you say “no, I’m…cough, cough, wheeze, cough… good”. You have a day off, he says “Hey, want to go shopping”, you’re like”no, I’m cool.  I don’t need anything”.  Looking into the empty refrigerator.  Even though you need or want all those things, you don’t want him to get the wrong idea, that you’re interested, until you’ve decided whether you want to move forward. So you turn him down, ignore his text and barely answer his texts.

I say all this to say, if someone wants to be with you, you don’t have to decipher anything, they will tell you and tell you often… thoughts?

Love and Later Days.

 

Advertisements

What to write…what to write…

Well now that I’m no longer single, I didn’t know what to write at first.  I knew I still wanted to write about dating and relationships but how.  Then it hit me, I have conversations with my girlfriends and cousins all the time about relationships, so why not with you guys.

Some of you have been rocking with me for years and know I can be heavy handed sometimes but I want this to be a conversation, if possible. Before I publish my next post, I just want you to know, I don’t play that “cyber-bully” crap (Which will actually be a topic eventually), I censor all of my comments, always have and even though I appreciate different point of views, I will not have anyone being disrespectful here.  Not to me or any one who comments on my blog. I’ve done it in the past and will continue to do it to keep this a safe place for discussion.  With that being said, I look forward to hearing from you.

Love and Later Days!

Working out is hard to do…

Since having Bubba*, back in 2015, I AM HUGE! No exaggeration, HUGE. I went from 180lbs, which is big for my 5’4″ frame, to 213lbs (my delivery weight).  I had gestational diabetes which makes you gain a lot of addition, unnecessary weight and can lead to a big baby. Luckily for me, Bubba was only 8lbs.  Not so great news, after my c-section, I only lost 13lbs.

My sister and mother are both obese and I have now joined the club.  I’ve never had trouble losing weight but to be honest, my diet between 22 and 36 years old, was primarily liquid. Coffee all day at work, if I had time, a salad for lunch, I may or may not eat dinner with the kids.  If I didn’t eat dinner with them my dinner would consist of maybe a microwave pizza, a salad, a sandwich or more coffee.  After the kids went to bed I’d sit in front of my computer writing, emailing, or researching things for my book with a low ball by my keyboard filled with either Captain Morgan or Vodka.

That’s why I went to my doctor last month and had a full work up.  I told her, while you’re supposed to treat your body like a temple, I have been using mine as an amusement park.  I drank way to much, stayed up too late at night (for about 10 years I lived off of two hours of sleep a night), barely ate, and at times worked 60 hour weeks.  I was parenting, taking care of two sick parents and trying to make ends meet.  I also wanted to know if there was a chance I could have an autoimmune disease that my mother has, I was told it’s genetic.  I told her that I was worried about my weight gain and hair loss (yup I have been losing my hair since I gave birth).  She put me on Phentermine and took a load of blood from me.  I’m go in for a follow up next month to find out about my lab work and to get weighed.

Phentermine makes you drop the weight for a while but you plateau after a few months. I started taking it about a week and a half ago.  I started it with no exercise to see how much I would lose with just taking the medication.  I lost about 6lbs.  So today, Raleigh and I went to the gym with Bubba.  We worked out for an hour, I’ll be working out every other day from now until about March until I come down to the weight I want to be… here’s the thing, this isn’t about vanity.  Although I’m not happy by how I look, I hate the way I feel more.  I hate that I’m tired everyday, I hate that my ankles and knees hurt.  I hate that I’m out of breath when I climb a flight of stairs. I’ll be 40 in exactly one month, I refuse to go into my 40s like this, over weight, out of breath, and tired.  I have a new baby boy who is chocked full of energy.  He will only get more energized the older he gets.

Raleigh and I are holding each other accountable for our weight loss (he wants to lose 40lbs). Right now, I feel wrecked and tired but in a good way. I plan to lose 20 lbs by the time I go back to see my doctor in January. Wish me luck.

Love and Later Days.

So it’s the day after Christmas…

I was sick and tired of the riot inciting sales, that aren’t actually sales, leading up to Christmas.  It’s the day after Christmas and now my mailbox is full of new emails from retailers screaming about AFTER Christmas sales because they didn’t get all of your money before Christmas, had failed attempts at trying to get the rest of it through the stores that were actually open on Christmas, so now, screw all the debit you stupidly put yourself into for cellphones, toys and crap that will long be forgotten or replaced by a newer model by March, come get more crap.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the one who freaks about Santa being involved with Christmas but I am the one sick and tired of seeing Christmas being treated like it’s not a religious holiday.  What’s supposed to be an observance of our Lord and Savior’s birth is now treated like a going out of business sale. From before Thanksgiving until just about the end of January (which just so happens to be the beginning of tax season, when new sales begin) all we hear are ads about Christmas.

The funniest thing is, I went to Walmart the other day, about 2 days before Christmas, and the Christmas stuff was taken down and Valentine’s shit was up. Seriously???

I guess no one believes “Jesus is the reason for the season” anymore.

Love and Later Days

 

 

The blues before New Year…

Today is Raleigh’s birthday.  I’m kinda sad because I couldn’t get him anything this year… again.  He’s not the type to get excited about his birthday anyway because he had shitty ones in the past, I was just hoping when we got together I’d be able to help change that… unfortunately, I haven’t because we are dealing with one shit storm or another every year near his birthday.  I couldn’t even get him a card this year 😦

When I think of the ungrateful people I’ve bought birthday gifts over the years, who’ve passed through my life, I just want to build a time machine and get all that damn money back or go visit those assholes now and get my swag back.

It doesn’t help that I was teasing him about turning 40 a month before me and he instantly turned sad.  He feels like he hasn’t accomplished anything in the past 40 years, great girlfriend I am right?  Idk what to do to help lift his funk. We’re broke until later in the week, which then we actually become broke adjacent, so we can’t go anywhere.  I would take him for a walk on the beach but there are a lot of tourist here for the holidays and I don’t feel like being sociable, he doesn’t feel like being sociable when he isn’t in a funk, lol. We could drink but there’s the whole money thing again, besides drinking away a funk is my fix not his, lol.

Idk, I’ll figure it out.  If you have any suggestions, I’d love to hear them.

Love and Later Days!

I don’t write just to write…

When I started this blog I had no idea what my intentions were, I really still don’t… I just know I love writing it.  I know a lot of blogs were started because of SEX and the CITY, letting their inner Carrie Bradshaws out but I actually started because I’m trying to finish writing a book and I was told you should write everyday.  I didn’t want to bore you blogs about laundry or shopping trips, so I vowed to only write when significant things happened.

Over the years the tone of my blog has changed.  It originally was full of snarky and (what I deemed to be) funny stories, but later it kind of took on a sad tone.  Mostly because things didn’t seem to be working out in any areas of my life.  Some things I shared, most I kept to myself.  Right now I’m going through something, Idk what, but something… it may be because I turn 40 next month or the new baby.  I just know that although I love my relationship with Raleigh and everything (but money) is on the right track, I just feel… meh.

We’re trying to get married but some things (financially) have to be worked out.  Since we’ve both been married before and I’ve distanced myself from my dysfunctional family, with the exception of a few, I really don’t want a elaborate wedding.  He wants to shut down the city like I’m Princess DI, lol.  It’s not that I’m not excited about becoming his wife, I just feel as if I already am his wife. I feel the ceremony is a technicality. We laugh all the time, talk all the time.  This is the first HEALTHY relationship I’ve ever had and I’ve been dating since I was 14.  We’re that annoying couple that complete each other’s sentences and communicate when we’re around others through looks.  He’s very sweet and thoughtful. I remember one day he came from work with a cup he had gotten made for me with my name on it. I was so happy, like most women get when their man buys them a car or jewelry.  It’s because I told him years ago I hate seeing things with people’s name on it because I can never find my name.  When we first started dating, he sent me a fed ex filled with greeting cards and a CD with a POST IT note on it that read “play #5, it reminds me of you”.  The greetings cards were for every holiday we didn’t share together before we met.

We have been together through a lot of things. Homelessness, joblessness, sometimes we didn’t even know how we’d feed the kids but we hung in there, we got stronger and through it all we didn’t argue, we hunkered down and got our grind on. Honey, the struggle was/is real and we just go with it.  It’s still hard, we’re trying to recover from the financial hardships we faced at the beginning of our relationship and we still struggle to pay bills but we know that’s temporary.  I’ll be glad when we’re stable again like we were when we first met.

Alright, I’m done with my ramblings.  Go enjoy the rest of your day.

Love and Later Days!

Wow

I started writing this blog seven years ago.  I’ve taken about two years off, which means you guys have been listening to me bitch for 5 years.  Crazy, right?

Some things have changed: new man, new baby and some not so happy stuff too.  Some things have stayed the same, I need to lose weight and I’m still not published, not to mention I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.  I know what I’m good at… Tech support, Customer Service, all kinds of clerical stuff and I make deadlines my bitch but I just don’t feel like I’m living up to my purpose… Figuring out what that purpose is, is the hard part.

I also need like about $1000 bucks to get myself together financially, can’t get married until I do… I would do a GOFundMe but I tried that before and it didn’t work out well because it basically works off of your social media and well… it’s a long story.  What’s a girl to do?  eh, it’ll work itself out.

Love and Later Days 🙂

It has been a while…

I haven’t been here in a while and a lot has happened since then… For any readers that are left, if you’ll remember I started writing this blog years ago to vent about my shitty dating life.  I primarily dated online, because with my parents being sick, my work schedule, raising two kids alone and my dad being in a nursing home, well who had the time.

I relocated to Myrtle Beach, SC, something most my friends and family didn’t believe I would do, if I’m honest,I don’t believe I actually thought I would get out of Philadelphia alive either. I loved living here, although nothing much changed about my dating life or my social life because my mom still lived with me, although I had lost my father (he passed away October 28, 2012), and my mom was now completely paralyzed on her right side, which meant she required more care. My oldest and I had started butting heads before we left Philadelphia (she ran away twice – story for another post) and I thought the move would do us good.

After a parade of weirdos, a visit from an ex, a craptastic date or two and a married man pretending to be single, I met Raleigh*.  I think some of my old blogs talk about him.  He was great, still is… but we have been truly going through some crappy shit. I gave birth to my son, yes my old ass still has eggs and for those of you who don’t know I’ll be 40 in January.  He is great, and me and Raleigh parent great together.  We were planning on getting married and then we found out I was pregnant so that was put on hold.

Now that you are pretty much caught up, I just want to warn the old readers that the tone and type of blogging I will be doing is going to change from bitching about dating to me bitching about my struggles.  Not with my relationship, that’s cool.  I wake up everyday grateful for Raleigh.  My rants and bitching now will mostly now be just about my life.  You’ve been warned, lol.

Love and Later Days!