I don’t write just to write…

When I started this blog I had no idea what my intentions were, I really still don’t… I just know I love writing it.  I know a lot of blogs were started because of SEX and the CITY, letting their inner Carrie Bradshaws out but I actually started because I’m trying to finish writing a book and I was told you should write everyday.  I didn’t want to bore you blogs about laundry or shopping trips, so I vowed to only write when significant things happened.

Over the years the tone of my blog has changed.  It originally was full of snarky and (what I deemed to be) funny stories, but later it kind of took on a sad tone.  Mostly because things didn’t seem to be working out in any areas of my life.  Some things I shared, most I kept to myself.  Right now I’m going through something, Idk what, but something… it may be because I turn 40 next month or the new baby.  I just know that although I love my relationship with Raleigh and everything (but money) is on the right track, I just feel… meh.

We’re trying to get married but some things (financially) have to be worked out.  Since we’ve both been married before and I’ve distanced myself from my dysfunctional family, with the exception of a few, I really don’t want a elaborate wedding.  He wants to shut down the city like I’m Princess DI, lol.  It’s not that I’m not excited about becoming his wife, I just feel as if I already am his wife. I feel the ceremony is a technicality. We laugh all the time, talk all the time.  This is the first HEALTHY relationship I’ve ever had and I’ve been dating since I was 14.  We’re that annoying couple that complete each other’s sentences and communicate when we’re around others through looks.  He’s very sweet and thoughtful. I remember one day he came from work with a cup he had gotten made for me with my name on it. I was so happy, like most women get when their man buys them a car or jewelry.  It’s because I told him years ago I hate seeing things with people’s name on it because I can never find my name.  When we first started dating, he sent me a fed ex filled with greeting cards and a CD with a POST IT note on it that read “play #5, it reminds me of you”.  The greetings cards were for every holiday we didn’t share together before we met.

We have been together through a lot of things. Homelessness, joblessness, sometimes we didn’t even know how we’d feed the kids but we hung in there, we got stronger and through it all we didn’t argue, we hunkered down and got our grind on. Honey, the struggle was/is real and we just go with it.  It’s still hard, we’re trying to recover from the financial hardships we faced at the beginning of our relationship and we still struggle to pay bills but we know that’s temporary.  I’ll be glad when we’re stable again like we were when we first met.

Alright, I’m done with my ramblings.  Go enjoy the rest of your day.

Love and Later Days!


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