The blues before New Year…

Today is Raleigh’s birthday.  I’m kinda sad because I couldn’t get him anything this year… again.  He’s not the type to get excited about his birthday anyway because he had shitty ones in the past, I was just hoping when we got together I’d be able to help change that… unfortunately, I haven’t because we are dealing with one shit storm or another every year near his birthday.  I couldn’t even get him a card this year 😦

When I think of the ungrateful people I’ve bought birthday gifts over the years, who’ve passed through my life, I just want to build a time machine and get all that damn money back or go visit those assholes now and get my swag back.

It doesn’t help that I was teasing him about turning 40 a month before me and he instantly turned sad.  He feels like he hasn’t accomplished anything in the past 40 years, great girlfriend I am right?  Idk what to do to help lift his funk. We’re broke until later in the week, which then we actually become broke adjacent, so we can’t go anywhere.  I would take him for a walk on the beach but there are a lot of tourist here for the holidays and I don’t feel like being sociable, he doesn’t feel like being sociable when he isn’t in a funk, lol. We could drink but there’s the whole money thing again, besides drinking away a funk is my fix not his, lol.

Idk, I’ll figure it out.  If you have any suggestions, I’d love to hear them.

Love and Later Days!

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