Working out is hard to do…

Since having Bubba*, back in 2015, I AM HUGE! No exaggeration, HUGE. I went from 180lbs, which is big for my 5’4″ frame, to 213lbs (my delivery weight).  I had gestational diabetes which makes you gain a lot of addition, unnecessary weight and can lead to a big baby. Luckily for me, Bubba was only 8lbs.  Not so great news, after my c-section, I only lost 13lbs.

My sister and mother are both obese and I have now joined the club.  I’ve never had trouble losing weight but to be honest, my diet between 22 and 36 years old, was primarily liquid. Coffee all day at work, if I had time, a salad for lunch, I may or may not eat dinner with the kids.  If I didn’t eat dinner with them my dinner would consist of maybe a microwave pizza, a salad, a sandwich or more coffee.  After the kids went to bed I’d sit in front of my computer writing, emailing, or researching things for my book with a low ball by my keyboard filled with either Captain Morgan or Vodka.

That’s why I went to my doctor last month and had a full work up.  I told her, while you’re supposed to treat your body like a temple, I have been using mine as an amusement park.  I drank way to much, stayed up too late at night (for about 10 years I lived off of two hours of sleep a night), barely ate, and at times worked 60 hour weeks.  I was parenting, taking care of two sick parents and trying to make ends meet.  I also wanted to know if there was a chance I could have an autoimmune disease that my mother has, I was told it’s genetic.  I told her that I was worried about my weight gain and hair loss (yup I have been losing my hair since I gave birth).  She put me on Phentermine and took a load of blood from me.  I’m go in for a follow up next month to find out about my lab work and to get weighed.

Phentermine makes you drop the weight for a while but you plateau after a few months. I started taking it about a week and a half ago.  I started it with no exercise to see how much I would lose with just taking the medication.  I lost about 6lbs.  So today, Raleigh and I went to the gym with Bubba.  We worked out for an hour, I’ll be working out every other day from now until about March until I come down to the weight I want to be… here’s the thing, this isn’t about vanity.  Although I’m not happy by how I look, I hate the way I feel more.  I hate that I’m tired everyday, I hate that my ankles and knees hurt.  I hate that I’m out of breath when I climb a flight of stairs. I’ll be 40 in exactly one month, I refuse to go into my 40s like this, over weight, out of breath, and tired.  I have a new baby boy who is chocked full of energy.  He will only get more energized the older he gets.

Raleigh and I are holding each other accountable for our weight loss (he wants to lose 40lbs). Right now, I feel wrecked and tired but in a good way. I plan to lose 20 lbs by the time I go back to see my doctor in January. Wish me luck.

Love and Later Days.

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