Monthly Archives: January 2017

Getting my shit together…

I love that Raleigh has made sure I could pretty much stay home with Bubba for the last 16, almost 17 months.  He has done overtime at work and anything else necessary to make sure everything is paid so that I can just enjoy my last (?) child.  I do work, here and there but it’s seasonal.  One thing I didn’t bank on when I moved to  a “Beach” town, was employment being so scarce. This is giving me time to figure some shit out.  I still don’t know what I’m going to do but I do have some ideas.  Right now I’m setting up an ecommerce store, meaning basically, I create the “virtual” product and find a distributor who does POD (print on demand) there are a lot of self publishers who do this too. So far either I have liked the “storefront” but not be able to link my distributor or I’ve found a POD that has a “storefront” included and I hate it.

The last couple of days I have been working out the product and concentrating less on the store front, this allows me to not lose my mind.  I just keep thinking positive, you know the old “if you build it, they will come.” It’s nothing that will generate a whole lot of revenue but it’s something.  I also get to put a little “me” out there because the product contains my snarky.

I’ve also been taking conversational Spanish online to tighten up my Español (see what I did there 😀 ), I’ll be more marketable, provided I become completely fluent before Bubba graduates High School. I’m the chic who knows how to get her needs met in Spanish (don’t be dirty).  I can ask where my cigarettes are, order a Hamburger and beer, a shot of just about any liquor, order a drink.  Tell you my name, ask you to pronounce something for me, ask directions, tell you where I’m from and ask directions.  Tell you how old I am, count and say my alphabet. The latter is cool, if I can’t say something, I can always spell it.  But that’s it folks.  That’s all and I can read Spanish well, I just have trouble speaking it most times because after you say something to me, I have to translate in my head. Think of my response and then translate it back into Spanish before saying it and even then the other person mostly ends up laughing at me.  Sort of why I don’t trust translators.  How do I know that you’re really saying what’s being said?  Like the guy who translated for Governor Nikki Haley in American Sign language, Jason Hurdich, he looked like he was having way too much fun, telling us we were all about to die and to evacuate.  Don’t believe me?  Click his name in this post or google him and hurricane Mattew, you’ll see what I mean.  It gave me flash backs to that douche bag who was the Sign Language Translator for Nelson Mandela’s Memorial back in 2013, remember him, we later found out he was a fraud! I don’t think they ever found out who he was… what were his intentions? Now Jason is the real deal but, well, ya’ll know I’m paranoid, lol.  Off track, sorry.

I’m still doing tech support from home but it doesn’t pay well.  It does cover the car note and insurance but I want to get back into my own home, (we’ve been living in a hotel for two months).  The one we’re staying in is actually built like an apartment and has wifi and cable but we can’t stay here much longer, the prices will go up as soon as we closer to the beginning of the season, which is either next month or March. I have a few places in mind but there are waiting lists. I’m praying for one place in particular, it has a playground and it’s in a safe area.  My main goal is to have the kids settled. We want to save money to buy a house so we don’t have to worry about this crap anymore, I want to pay the car off this year so we only have to deal with insurance and annual taxes. Daycare is a bear so I at least have to work from home until we can afford to pay three weeks of daycare up front to make sure we don’t incur late fees after he starts.  He needs it for his socialization skills to grow.  He’s okay now but he needs to be around other kids his age because right now he doesn’t really talk, he can, but he knows grunts and whining will get what he needs, so that’s his prefered method of communication.  I just want him to flourish, he’s smart and funny.  I just want him to have all he needs.

Raleigh is also looking at a job that pays double what he makes now, which would be a blessing. He’s about to pull his hair out waiting on his second interview.  The first interviewer promised him she’d email him on Monday, following the initial interview and that hasn’t happened, so he’s over here stressing.  I can say this, I’m really glad I don’t have to do the single parent thing anymore.

Trying to keep it light and stress free, but you guys know me ;D

Love and Later Days!

 

 

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Figuring it out…

 

As I said before I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I’m a very proactive person.  I don’t believe in sitting life out and letting it happen to me. Living your life like that can cause problems.  But being “proactive” with your life can have it’s downside too.  It can cause you to “jump out of the frying pan, into the fire”, sometimes even when there was never a need to jump in the first place but it can also make for a very amusing life *laughing like the Joker, in Suicide Squad*.

Today, I spent the day doing employment assessments and aptitude tests.  I know what I’m good at, I want to find out what I’m great at… I’m one of those people, if I know what I’m doing, I’m happy with my job.  But if I have to struggle for understanding, I’m not happy, you can see it in my work, and I start looking for other employment options.

Since my father’s stroke in 2007, I have been Temping and doing “work from home” positions, neither pays very well. Since I’m some what stable (because of Raleigh) and we have a new baby at home, I’m looking for stability in my career.  Why now? It’s true what they say, youth is wasted on the young.  Like most young people, I felt like I had time to figure it out.  I had time to go back to school.  I was working a good job, I had money in the bank, a (new) reliable vehicle.  I had planned for everything, except illness.  My dad got sick first, my mother followed 2 weeks later.  They were in two different hospitals that year, little did I know, hospitals and rehab centers would become a huge part of my life for the next ten years.  Basically, raising two kids alone, taking care of both my parents, financially and physically and working full-time doesn’t leave much time to blow your nose and trying to “find yourself” takes a backseat to feeding, clothing and sheltering everyone.  Now 10 years later, I look up and find out I have no clue who I am.

The last time I felt this way was 19 years ago, when I was newly separated from my (ex) husband and filing for divorce. I had no clue who I was, what I liked to do… hell, I didn’t even know what type of movie I liked to watch. Now almost 20 years later, I’m back at the beginning.  I’m finding this to be a theme lately.  I used to think of it as starting over, now, I think of it as stepping back.  You know how if you sit or stand too close to something, you can’t see everything? What do you do to see the full picture? Step back, I have had to step back a few times lately.  It has not only given me clarity, it has stopped me from being a huge ball of stress and worry. Take for example my weight.  Anyone following me for a while know I have been trying to lose weight for years, being a care taker is bad for your waistline and makes for a fat, flabby ass.  I have been trying everything but lately, I’m actually losing weight.  You know why? I’m no longer concerned with pounds.  I celebrate losing every ounce, instead of feeling  frustrated that I’m not at my ideal weight, my goal is to lose 40lbs.  Over the last three weeks, I have lost 15lbs.  Instead setting my sights on a specific date: bathing suit season or my birthday, etc.  I just keep focusing on losing the ounces because they equal pounds.  I had been focusing and stressing over my finances. Raleigh and I found a way to consolidate everything into 3 bills… rent, car note, and auto insurance. We had to step back and move some place that had everything included in the rent.  Not where we wanted to live, but it will give us a chance to get our bills under control and save some money before moving again.

While we’re at this point, I figured this was the perfect, well not perfect but a good time to figure out what to do about my career.  I really haven’t found anything out about myself today through the test that I didn’t already know about myself. I guess I’ll just keep looking at job descriptions, going on the different college websites for ideas and figure something out.  You know the saying, if ye seek, ye shall find.  So seek I shall.

Taking a step back can sometimes be very essential to your progress, don’t look at it as a failure or something to be ashamed of, look at it for what it is, an opportunity to get your shit together.

Love and Later Days

 

Yes! I’m Hormonal damn it…

Fellas, I’m sorry in advance, run while you still can.

Now that they’re gone, Ladies, can we talk? I have been in Hormone Hell for over 2 years.

I was pregnant from the end of 2014 to August 2015, yes I was hormonal.

I began breastfeeding, yes I was hormonal.

I began birth control for the first time in 15 years because before I got preggers with Bubba, I thought (for medical reasons) I couldn’t get pregnant anymore, yes I was hormonal.

I came off of birth control because I couldn’t lose any weight, yes I’m hormonal.

I just got my Auntie Flo back after 2 YEARS.  The first one lasted over a month.  Let me say that again because it bears repeating, ONE MONTH WITH AUNT FUCKING FLO, yes I hormonal.

Give me a break, I cry for no reason.  I get angry at the drop of a hat. Some days I don’t want to get out of bed. My hair has fallen out, all of it. My nails won’t grow.  I have acne like I’m 16. I hurt all of the time because I’m fat as hell. I get confused and forget shit all the time. My mind wanders. I’m irritable. None of my damn clothes fit and most days I look like shit because I’m chasing a toddler, while working from home at the same damn time. Most of this is because of my hormones are out of control.  I have to deal with all of that and still function like a normal and sane person.  It’s damn difficult. I spent about 10 minutes looking for the phone and I was actually holding it walking around the house listening in on a conference call.

Why did I write this post, say it with me folks, BECAUSE YES, I’m hormonal!

RULES FOR GETTING ALONG WITH Kay IN 2017…

I posted this to FB this morning

1). Don’t mess with my kids
2). Talk to me the way you want me to talk to you
3). If you’re mad at me, keep it to yourself, I really give “0” fucks                                              4). Keep your opinions about my life to yourself.
5). If I say something to you that you don’t like, say something. I don’t read minds, so speak up, and as far as me trying to figure out why you’re mad, refer to #3.
6). Don’t mess with my money.
7). Stop calling my son, my Grandson, you know damn well he’s not and you will get your feelings hurt.
8). You’re only allowed to say 3 stupid things to me this year, use them wisely.
9). Remember I’m Queen Petty
Lastly,
10). Yes, you do have freedom of speech but remember so do I, choose your words wisely.

and a bonus, *If you’re “cleaning out” your friends list and decide you want to ‘Block/Unfriend/Unfollow” me, you don’t have to tell me because I won’t tell you if I’m going to “Block/Unfriend/Unfollow” you and then refer to #3.

ok, talk amongst yourselves. #HappyNewYear 😀

Now let me be very clear, I will often refer to myself as Queen Petty.  That’s because I have often been called petty or Petty Betty because I won’t take mess off of some folks or because, well I do have a tendency to be a teensy, weensy bit (barely noticeable amount) petty at times.  I’m the baby child and the youngest child of the youngest child in my dad’s family (whom I grew up around, so I’m the same age as my 1st cousin’s kids) so it comes with the territory, lol. I wrote that list and posted it to make it clear… this is #NoNONSENSE2017

What I want to be when I grow up….

 

 

Forgive me if I have already created a post with this name but it’s question I’ve always had about my future.  I hear people say all the time they knew when they were a kid they wanted to be whatever… Idk what I want to do.  I’ve never known. Not even the silly dreams, like be a princess or an astronaut. I figured I’d do what I was good at or passionate about, the problem is I have no real passions anymore.  I mean, I danced classically for years until the birth of my first kid.  Then I realized it didn’t pay the bills unless you were Mikhail Baryshnikov, Misty Copeland, or  Gregory Hines (R.I.P.).  I wasn’t.  Although I took lessons all day on Saturdays and all evening on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.  Those guys ate, slept and breathed dancing.

Later, I realized I had always been good with computers.  I got my degree in Computer Applications Network Administrations, I know a mouthful, it would later become IT.  I pretty much used it for clerical work.  I now use it to supply tech support to different companies but it’s not my passion.  Do I want to be a Tech until I retire?  I don’t know.  I know what I’m good at… Customer Service, anything clerical, tech support, I have excellent communication skills.  I’m bad ass at multi-tasking and organizing but what career is that?

Love and Later Days

I love working from home… but I don’t…

I’m tech support for a lot of different companies.  You may have even spoken to me a couple of times at different companies.  I have done/do everything from call centers (telephone), to chats.  Emails and video chat.  There are plenty of upsides to working from home, my favorites are; I’m able to wear my pajamas, (except when I have to do tech support via video chat), no commute, I don’t really pay for daycare… depending on the gig (Like if it’s chat or email only) I have the baby in the room with me while I work and can play with him while I wait for responses.  When I have to do phones or video, I hire a babysitter and I’m able to “visit” with him on breaks and lunch in either his room or the living room.  I also have healthier lunches but I do drink more coffee than when I work at a “brick and mortar” job, that’s @home slang for working in an office building rather than from home. No matter my hours, I get to see my family.  Although, I have an office, they’re not allowed in for obvious reasons, so I go “visit” with them, on breaks and lunches too. That allows me to find out how their days went and stuff.  I also get to eat dinner with them every night. Bonus: Training is always paid.

The downside, I don’t care how much you have worked on a “campaign”, you ALWAYS, ALWAYS, have to train for the position.  I have one I’ve worked every year from the fall through the spring, sometimes (rarely) in the summer, I still have to be trained for it, even though NOTHING changes from year to year.  So training can be boring as hell except when you’re learning the new agent tools.  I’m a “hands on learner”, I’m the one who throws the instructions on the ground, pours a drink and looks at the parts…  To instruct me on what to do, I get a little confused but put it in my hands and I know it forever.

The other part that’s not so great (at first), is the pay… it’s kinda of on the low side for the first campaign (company assignments) or two you work, like when you’re temping.  After you complete those, if you’re on time (yes people are late to work logging into a computer) and have no absences, you have the opportunity to earn more money and advance. My goal is to either become an interviewer, recruiter or trainer.  Maybe even become a Tier 3, which is the support for Tech Support.  If a Tier 2 (me) can’t find an answer, we email a T3, they have more information and know the product even better. They don’t want the agents to become overwhelmed with information, so Tier 2 knows most but Tier3 knows all and they only talk to employees.

I like my co-workers, I’ve actually made a few friends. They’re great support. Management is always pretty cool too.  The only other thing I don’t like is, people in my real life, don’t think I have a job.  People still call or drop by thinking I have time to talk or hang out on their days off.  I have to stay out of sight when it comes to Bubba too because he sees me and gets mad because I can’t play trucks with him or watch Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood.  So I have to “low-crawl” to the bathroom. He misses his kisses and hugs too, truthfully, so do I. But I do appreciate my schedule it allows me to put him down for naps and keep him home a little longer.  I like our lunches together too.  Today we had salmon, string beans and rice. I know this time is fleeting, I’ve raised one and the other is two years away from graduating high school, so I really want to enjoy this time.  Yeah, he has to go to Daycare soon for socialization skills but not yet.

Love and Later Days 🙂

 

Going to the chapel and we’re going to get married…

So, I’ve been engaged since 2014. We didn’t want to get married while I was pregnant because I didn’t want to walk down the aisle in a maternity wedding dress.  After seeing pictures of me pregnant, that was a great executive decision, I was H-U-G-E.  Then I was breastfeeding (sorry fellas) and any woman who has breastfed knows the kind of hi-jinx that can happen with a white or a light colored fabric… yup an awful version of a wet t-shirt contest.  After that it was money issues.

I really could marry Raleigh in a Church house or outhouse.  I love him to death and just want to be his wife but he wants something a smidge more elegant than an outhouse, which I now understand after seeing it up close. I have a frenemy  who met a guy and married him within a month just so she could beat me the alter. She got married at a courthouse, no shade to anyone who got married that way, my parents did and were married over 40 years until my dad died in 2012 but after witnessing it on FB (I wasn’t invited just got tagged in the post), I wouldn’t want that for me and Raleigh. I want to see Raleigh, Bubba and my step-son in nice suits or tuxes, my daughters and step-daughter in nice tea-length dresses or gowns.  Some nice pictures to remember the occasion and a little wine, accompanied by dancing wouldn’t hurt either.

With 2017 just starting, we want to try for another baby and buy a house, I don’t want to go into the poor house and we’re just getting started.  I don’t want to come back from our honeymoon and have to eat Ramon noodles either.  Which means I’ll be planning on a shoestring budget because I don’t want another New Year to pass and we’re not married.  I’ve been thinking of this cool place called Chapel by the Sea, Raleigh told me about it last year.  He didn’t want secular music played but they have prerecorded music they play at every wedding and it was kind of standing room only, if we choose to do it outdoors, we can take pictures on the beach though, Idk.  We’ll talk some more, hell I haven’t even picked a dress yet, partially because I don’t know what style I want and also because I want to lose about 40lbs, I’m already down 12lbs.  We’ll see and I’ll keep you posted (lucky you).

Love and Later Days