Category Archives: dancing

Going to the chapel and we’re going to get married…

So, I’ve been engaged since 2014. We didn’t want to get married while I was pregnant because I didn’t want to walk down the aisle in a maternity wedding dress.  After seeing pictures of me pregnant, that was a great executive decision, I was H-U-G-E.  Then I was breastfeeding (sorry fellas) and any woman who has breastfed knows the kind of hi-jinx that can happen with a white or a light colored fabric… yup an awful version of a wet t-shirt contest.  After that it was money issues.

I really could marry Raleigh in a Church house or outhouse.  I love him to death and just want to be his wife but he wants something a smidge more elegant than an outhouse, which I now understand after seeing it up close. I have a frenemy  who met a guy and married him within a month just so she could beat me the alter. She got married at a courthouse, no shade to anyone who got married that way, my parents did and were married over 40 years until my dad died in 2012 but after witnessing it on FB (I wasn’t invited just got tagged in the post), I wouldn’t want that for me and Raleigh. I want to see Raleigh, Bubba and my step-son in nice suits or tuxes, my daughters and step-daughter in nice tea-length dresses or gowns.  Some nice pictures to remember the occasion and a little wine, accompanied by dancing wouldn’t hurt either.

With 2017 just starting, we want to try for another baby and buy a house, I don’t want to go into the poor house and we’re just getting started.  I don’t want to come back from our honeymoon and have to eat Ramon noodles either.  Which means I’ll be planning on a shoestring budget because I don’t want another New Year to pass and we’re not married.  I’ve been thinking of this cool place called Chapel by the Sea, Raleigh told me about it last year.  He didn’t want secular music played but they have prerecorded music they play at every wedding and it was kind of standing room only, if we choose to do it outdoors, we can take pictures on the beach though, Idk.  We’ll talk some more, hell I haven’t even picked a dress yet, partially because I don’t know what style I want and also because I want to lose about 40lbs, I’m already down 12lbs.  We’ll see and I’ll keep you posted (lucky you).

Love and Later Days

 

it’s been a loooooong time.

For all of my old readers, great to see you are still hanging in there and still waiting for me to say something interesting.  Well, here I am 2 years after my move to South Carolina from Philadelphia, PA.  I’m still in love with Myrtle Beach, which I refer to as the Myrtle. And to get you caught up on what I have been up to…

Last you read, I was single.  Looking for love online, raising two girls alone and trying desperately to hold on to my sanity.  I had just met Raleigh and we were just starting to get to know each other.  Here’s Raleigh’s stats, we are the same age, born one month apart.  He had two children, a son and daughter.  His daughter, coincidentally, has the same birthday and is the same age as my youngest daughter.  He lived near Raleigh (hence his moniker) and he loved him some Kay.

Fast Forward.  We are now engaged, yes chile.  He brought a Uhaul for the baggage I was carrying around all these years, lol. We have a new baby boy, bringing our children total to 5.  We are going to try for another after we get married this year in October.  I don’t want to waddle down the aisle.

He relocated here, to be with me, a little over a year ago and we haven’t had a dull day yet…  well we don’t think so, others might.  I mean a fun night for us is a bottle of wine, shared with soft music and funny conversation.

I’m back to working from home, 2nd shift and he works 1st shift outside of the home.  Funny, we do the same thing for a living.  We’re looking for a new place and we’re just so fricken happy.  We’re working on a book together and starting a new business.  For the first time in forever, I look forward to the future.

I didn’t think I would blog again, but I figured if someone wanted to listen, I damn sure will talk, lol.  Also, I wanted you to hear how I have been. We have been talking about finding The One for so long that I figured you ought to know I found him and know what we’re up to.

So until next time…

Love and Later Days,

-K

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Working out is hard to do!!!

I can’t believe I’m having problems making working out part of my normal lifestyle again.  I danced ballet, tap and jazz for 20+ years, I was used to dancing three or four times a week for each class and from 7am to 3pm.  Practicing new routines for hours on end daily.  I danced all the way up to my 6th month of my pregnancy with my oldest daughter (17, ALMOST 18 years), I actually performed in a Play that ran for a week including two matinées on both Saturday and Sunday. 

During high school, I ran cross country. After my divorce, I just stopped, I did run again after that on and off for years. .. Now I can’t get my motor running again. I’ve tried and I’m trying again.  I did Zumba, I liked it but my playstation 3 stopped working and I gave up.  I tried running again and my treadmill died, it’s like the fitness gods hate me.

I’m trying to get started again with Julianne Michaels.  It’s a six week program, I’m hoping to see some type of difference.  I have back fat, BACK FAT!  I have cellulite on my legs, um ew. 

I’m trying to lose 40 to 60lbs.  I have moved to this beautiful beach city and I want to put on a bathing suit this season.  I picture myself on the beach, hair flowing and enjoying the sun.  I don’t need to be in a two piece bathing (although I would love to be in one), a bathing suit that I just feel comfortable in would be great.  A pair of jeans that I feel good in that aren’t too tight or too loose.  A shirt that I can pull down that isn’t hanging off of me or keeps rolling up my stomach.  I hate that I look like I’m three months pregnant.  I feel good when I look good.  I have never been in a position which I don’t look good in anything I put on.

Let’s hope I can do this, I mean my father used to say “I try means, I’ll fail”.  So no trying… just doing.

Let’s get this party started.

Love and Later Days,

-K

All new…

New City, New State, New Blog…

I’m looking forward to dating down here, although I did date someone who lived here while I lived in Philly, it was different because it was long distance.  There isn’t much to tell right now because I’m getting settled.  I have gone to a couple of places around here and hung out for a few hours but because March 14th was the start of tourist season, there aren’t many places I want to go to right now.

I’m noticing down here 20 something men like older women.  I can’t walk two feet without some young guy giving me his telephone number or flirting with me.  Good for the ego but not for finding someone to date.  I’m thinking of giving Match.com another 3 month trial since I’m in a new city.  What I have noticed down here is a lot of guys here need a shitload of attention.  They text you back to back, they want to see you all day, all night and they move fast as hell when it comes to relationships.

With all of that said, I’m looking forward to seeing this city through the eyes of a resident, rather than a tourist.  I guess we get to find out if the trouble and bad experiences I had were due to my location or something going on with me.

wish me luck.

Love and Later Days,

-K

You hear that…

That is the sound of ice hitting up against my glass. A lot of shit is going on right now. My oldest daughter is putting the screws to me… I’m dealing with it as best I can.  I’m worried shitless about her but she’s testing her limits, it’s driving me insane like I guess most parents of kids that are Seniors in High School.  They’re at the age that they’re not grown but not kids anymore… they don’t know how to act and you don’t know what to do with them.I’m worried sick about it but all I can do is pray and remember I have another kid and a sick mother to worry about who rely on me too.  I’m just gonna keep moving and pray she comes to her senses.

I plan to go out for a little while tonight. My aunt is here if something happens and I’ll be right around the corner watching movies, talking shit and drinking. For a few hours I won’t be a mom, daughter or single woman looking for her soul mate, just Kay.

Have a great and safe weekend.

Love and Later Days,

-K

Getting offline and the first date…

How many times have you gotten an email from a guy online and all it says is Hi or it just includes a “form letter”? You’re wondering why’d he even bother, why couldn’t he say more than that? It’s because it’s hard as hell to talk to someone you don’t know, it’s even harder when you haven’t met them in person. 

Online all you know is whether or not you find the person attractive, if they can spell and if they know the difference between their/there/they’re and your/you’re.  In person you feel the chemistry. You can gauge their humor by their body language when you tell a joke. You can discuss things in your surroundings to bridge the gap if you have bouts of silence.  The best part is, in person you can gauge if your date finds you attractive too. 

Now that I have pointed out the obvious (and given a small English lesson), I’ll tell you how to get pass the “Awkwards” (that’s what I call the first 10 email exchanges).  First, if all you get is a “Hi” email, go to his profile and look up his information.  See how many children he has (or don’t).  His status, married/widowed/separated/single/divorce. His career choice (although I never bring up work), education, etc…  Now you’re ready to respond.  Say “hi” back.  Ask him about anything in his profile.  Stay away from vague questions like… what do you like to do for fun? Stay away from stupid questions like Why are you single? or Why are you dating online? These types of questions are dead end questions and leave you floundering for another question. Instead ask something specific. Rather than What do you do for fun? Ask him something like Do you like action movies? His answer gives you room for a follow up question and that can lead to a date. For instance if he says yes, you can say… I wanted to see the new Vin Diesel movie. If he says no, you can follow up with Okay, what type of movie do you like? The thing is, men are accused of not communicating, that simply isn’t true.  Men will talk if they’re familiar or comfortable with the topic at hand. Find a common ground.  It doesn’t have to be sports or cars.  I know a lot about both topics and trust me, less men than you may realize know about either topic. 

Okay so now you’re going on your date.  What to do and where to go.  I don’t suggest going out for coffee or out for drinks on the first date. Too much coffee you come off wack a doo, too much wine, you might show him a little too much of you.

I personally prefer interactive dates like arcades or bowling, however, I like to learn his personality before we go on those types of dates because I don’t like playing with sore losers or lousy winners (the guy who has a loser dance or brags about winning beer pong or foosball like it’s the Superbowl). The first date I usually like to go to a movie or to hear live music. Afterward I like to go to dinner.

With music or a movie first if there is a lull in conversation we have something to talk about.  I usually don’t order anything more than appetizers and I always take a cab or my own car.  This way if the date is a dud we don’t have that awkward ride home.  I also don’t ride in cars with strangers.  I love when it feels like I never want the date to end but I don’t stay out past ten on a week night (folks gotta work) and never past midnight on a weekend. I don’t want a guy to get the impression we’re doing any bike riding until I think he’s trustworthy.

I also stay away from deep conversations until we get a good feel for each other. No talk of politics, religion or sex (unless I plan on engaging in sex that day). Stay light.  Flirt… I think actually that’s one of my favorite parts of being a girl.  The flirting.  I like twirling my hair around my finger. Crossing my legs, when they’re visible (like when I’m sitting on a couch or sitting at a bar top table). I like the attention I get from flirting.  I feel sexy and alive.  Trust me, I love my mother but changing her Depends and washing her up doesn’t make me feel sexy, neither does being a single mom.

Well that’s all for now, hope you found this useful.  Maybe my next blog will be about the art of flirting.  It’ll depend on the comments.

Good Luck, Happy Hunting…

Love and Later Days,

-K

Pride cometh before the fall or does it…

I had and still have a big problem with asking for help. Because of this difficulty, it has made me a very strong woman. Which is good because you have to be a strong woman to be a single parent.  However it made shit a whole lot more difficult than necessary after my father passed away last year. 

I say all of this as a setup (of course).  I used to go out with this guy. We broke up because he was bossy and never knew how to keep shit between us. We had a mutual “friend”.  This “friend” had a thing for the guy and had for years.  The feeling wasn’t/isn’t  mutual because… wait for it… she was too bossy for him and couldn’t keep shit to herself.  Funny, I know, but true.  This guy was/is a Minister (I’ll wait while you try to picture it). I met him years ago through my exhusband and has been friends with him for years. Oh didn’t I mention, my exhusband was a Pastor. Okay now you’re being ridiculous, get off the floor it’s not that amazing. Anywhosal for this particular rant we will call him Preach. 

There were obviously other problems with me and Preach but the fact that he ran his mouth like an old woman at a sewing circle, drove me nuts.

Okay already tying loose ends up now.  Recently I called Preach to ask for his assistance (I even hate to say the “H” word).  The mutual friend came to me and told me about our conversation as soon as she got off from work.  Soon as she leaves he calls me on the phone and tells me when he will bring over what I asked for and informs me he’s only doing it because he wants to see me again.  Sidebar – I saw him three months ago at a wake.  He wanted to take me out to dinner or lunch the following week and I have been either ducking him or giving an excuse for the last few months.

Back to the matter at hand. A year ago, if he would have said that to me my pride, which is the size of Mt Rushmore, would have made me tell him to fuck off with written instruction on how to accomplish such a task.  These days, it not that I don’t have pride or that I put it down sometimes, it’s I have learned the difference between pride and stupidity.

Love and Later Days,

-K

Should I be concerned?

New message in my inbox: “I’m a naughty boy… Speed Rocks… I like fast cars… and the feeling of danger…”

How does someone respond to that? “Um…ok”.

Where do they find these people? And why do they think he’s an 86% match to my profile? My tagline isn’t “die young, leave a pretty corpse.”

Love and Later Days,

-K

I panicked and went on a winking spree…

I have to admit. I haven’t been favorited but by one person and although I have a shitload of winks there hasn’t been any emails but one 😦 Ice cream guy. Who recently has sent another vague text. I don’t know what game he’s playing.

Anywhosal, I re-wrote  my profile and after it was up for a whopping 20 minutes, I freaked out and ran a quick search.  Anybody who has been on within 24 hrs got a wink. I know, I know, I opened the door to a whole lotta cray cray.

Idk why I get so damn insecure online. In person I have no problems. But online I come across, Idk, bland I guess. Isn’t it normally the other way around?

So let’s see what kind of crazy I’ve dug up.

Love and Later Days,

-K

I scream, you scream, we all scream… for nothing

Well, I had to reschedule the date with Ice Cream. He hasn’t called or text since the raincheck. Is it me? Am I the chick who goes for unavailable guys?

He seemed interested. I was being pleasant… wtf. I’m not into looks, never have been. I have always been a sucker for how a man treated me… keyword sucker.  Hold my door, light my cigarette, have manners, be funny, don t owe the IRS and we are cool.  Basically  Robert from the Cosby Show (Dondre Whitfield)  Hell I’ll even take his  character Sean from Girlfriends.   He was a sex addict but addicted to his GF.

IDK I think the kind of guy I like and can love may be extinct. A gentleman with a sense of humor. No sarcasm as a first language.  I I have seen my share of misery.
I just want shits and giggles.

Love and Later Days,

-K