Category Archives: FB

Yes! I’m Hormonal damn it…

Fellas, I’m sorry in advance, run while you still can.

Now that they’re gone, Ladies, can we talk? I have been in Hormone Hell for over 2 years.

I was pregnant from the end of 2014 to August 2015, yes I was hormonal.

I began breastfeeding, yes I was hormonal.

I began birth control for the first time in 15 years because before I got preggers with Bubba, I thought (for medical reasons) I couldn’t get pregnant anymore, yes I was hormonal.

I came off of birth control because I couldn’t lose any weight, yes I’m hormonal.

I just got my Auntie Flo back after 2 YEARS.  The first one lasted over a month.  Let me say that again because it bears repeating, ONE MONTH WITH AUNT FUCKING FLO, yes I hormonal.

Give me a break, I cry for no reason.  I get angry at the drop of a hat. Some days I don’t want to get out of bed. My hair has fallen out, all of it. My nails won’t grow.  I have acne like I’m 16. I hurt all of the time because I’m fat as hell. I get confused and forget shit all the time. My mind wanders. I’m irritable. None of my damn clothes fit and most days I look like shit because I’m chasing a toddler, while working from home at the same damn time. Most of this is because of my hormones are out of control.  I have to deal with all of that and still function like a normal and sane person.  It’s damn difficult. I spent about 10 minutes looking for the phone and I was actually holding it walking around the house listening in on a conference call.

Why did I write this post, say it with me folks, BECAUSE YES, I’m hormonal!

RULES FOR GETTING ALONG WITH Kay IN 2017…

I posted this to FB this morning

1). Don’t mess with my kids
2). Talk to me the way you want me to talk to you
3). If you’re mad at me, keep it to yourself, I really give “0” fucks                                              4). Keep your opinions about my life to yourself.
5). If I say something to you that you don’t like, say something. I don’t read minds, so speak up, and as far as me trying to figure out why you’re mad, refer to #3.
6). Don’t mess with my money.
7). Stop calling my son, my Grandson, you know damn well he’s not and you will get your feelings hurt.
8). You’re only allowed to say 3 stupid things to me this year, use them wisely.
9). Remember I’m Queen Petty
Lastly,
10). Yes, you do have freedom of speech but remember so do I, choose your words wisely.

and a bonus, *If you’re “cleaning out” your friends list and decide you want to ‘Block/Unfriend/Unfollow” me, you don’t have to tell me because I won’t tell you if I’m going to “Block/Unfriend/Unfollow” you and then refer to #3.

ok, talk amongst yourselves. #HappyNewYear 😀

Now let me be very clear, I will often refer to myself as Queen Petty.  That’s because I have often been called petty or Petty Betty because I won’t take mess off of some folks or because, well I do have a tendency to be a teensy, weensy bit (barely noticeable amount) petty at times.  I’m the baby child and the youngest child of the youngest child in my dad’s family (whom I grew up around, so I’m the same age as my 1st cousin’s kids) so it comes with the territory, lol. I wrote that list and posted it to make it clear… this is #NoNONSENSE2017

What to write…what to write…

Well now that I’m no longer single, I didn’t know what to write at first.  I knew I still wanted to write about dating and relationships but how.  Then it hit me, I have conversations with my girlfriends and cousins all the time about relationships, so why not with you guys.

Some of you have been rocking with me for years and know I can be heavy handed sometimes but I want this to be a conversation, if possible. Before I publish my next post, I just want you to know, I don’t play that “cyber-bully” crap (Which will actually be a topic eventually), I censor all of my comments, always have and even though I appreciate different point of views, I will not have anyone being disrespectful here.  Not to me or any one who comments on my blog. I’ve done it in the past and will continue to do it to keep this a safe place for discussion.  With that being said, I look forward to hearing from you.

Love and Later Days!

I’m back and I have a boyfriend…

Well I know you thought I fell of the face of the Earth but I did not… I have started a great new relationship with Raleigh and it is so great he is relocating here to Myrtle Beach to be closer to me and the kids.

I want you to know that isn’t why I stopped blogging, I stopped blogging because of WP’s stupid ass update that had all my blogs drafted locally to my phone.  The problem is now fixed (I think) and all is right with the world, lol  🙂

So I will not bore you with the details of what has gotten me to girlfriend status but I will say he is a great guy.  He has truly become my best friend and we are good for each other.  We talk everyday.  He is sweet, supportive, funny, God Fearing, loving, affectionate and great at the groovey stuff 😉

He visits often but only for the weekend but believe it or not it isn’t a hindrance or strain to our relationship.  We have private jokes and my kids love him.  Before he permanently relocates here, I will be going there to meet his family.

All I can say is my life is more amazing with him in it.  He is who I have been praying for, I’m not going to lie, at the beginning of the relationship I was waiting for the other shoe to drop sidebar- the post you just saw, titled “I did it”, has been sitting on my phone for couple of months. So don’t think I just saw him and all of this is going down.  Anywhosal… he sent me two cards created in which he wrote me love letters and FED Ex’d them and a CD to my home… it was a Mother’s Day card and a Valentine’s Day card.  Sweet but odd I know, at first.  When I called to thank him, he told me he was sorry it took him 37yrs to find me but he planned to spend the rest of his life making it up to me… the two cards for the missed Holidays was just the beginning, okay you can say it… awwww.

We text and talk like teenagers when he’s not here and make out like teenagers when he is here…

I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend 🙂

Just because I have found my Mr. Right For Me” doesn’t mean you are off the hook… I still have plenty of soapboxes stored up, there is far more shit in the world, besides online dating, that pisses me off. Plus, I know you’re gonna want to know how this all plays out whether this is my Happily ever after or if it will crash and burn.  So… To Be Continued and as always…

Love and Later Days,

-K

Problem with online dating…

I have been dating on and off for years online.  One of the reasons I have been having difficulty is because I come across better in person than I do on paper when it comes to dating.  If I’m looking for work, my resume speaks volumes but not so much when it comes to dating. I finally figured out why… In my real life I’m not an aggressive dater. I’m used to being courted, wooed… hell, I’ll just say it, I’m used to being chased.  I The kind of guy I date makes the plans for our date.  He calls me, he asks me out, he asks for my number.

When online dating, I’m have to be the aggressor. I have to come out of my comfort zone.  I’m suddenly something, I’m not in my real life.  I become insecure.  I’m second guessing my jokes, wondering if they’re coming across properly in print.  Writing those damn profiles are torture.  Once I move on to the talking on the phone portion of the courtship, my insecurity grows even more, why you ask?  Because on more occasions than I can count I have been called “sir”. When I meet folks in person, they see me and hear my voice at the same time (which thankfully my voice doesn’t match my appearance, think Sofia Bush), so when they hear my voice on the phone later, it doesn’t cause a concern.  Someone once told me that he thought I would look like the mother on “What’s Happening”, the actress named Mabel King…

mabel king

 

Most people who meet me either think I look like Angela Bassett or Lynn Whitfield.  I don’t agree, but you will agree that’s a far cry from Mabel King.  So I worry that my deep voice is going to scare off a prospective Mr. Right for me. Basically the role reversal makes me uncomfortable and Idk how to become that other type of woman.  The type who can approach a guy without feeling or looking awkward.  I’ve never had to do it in the past and when I’m able to go out, for something other than a chore (hell even chores), I have no problems turning heads, even being 40 lbs overweight.  After we get a conversation going I’m normally golden.  This way feels so backward, so weird and I’m having issues getting past it.  I need to figure out a way around this otherwise I’m going to continue stumbling through this crap.  If I can just get a good profile…

I’ll let you know what I figure out.

Love and Later Days,

-K

Time Machine…

Does anyone have one I can borrow or rent? I promise to  return it in the same or better condition. I’ll put gas in it, I won’t eat in it and make sure to put the seats and mirrors back in their original position.

I had one when I was a kid but burned out the engine jumping from birthdays, Christmases, my first kiss and hurry to adulthood.  Now when I really need it, I don’t have one of my own and my kids are too busy doing the same with theirs that I did with mine (even though I have warned them against it) to let me borrow theirs and I need it badly to get passed my rough patch. Smh.

So, if you have a Time Machine I can borrow, just leave it in my driveway, with the keys under the seat and I will return it in the very near future. 

Love and Later Days,

-K

You hear that…

That is the sound of ice hitting up against my glass. A lot of shit is going on right now. My oldest daughter is putting the screws to me… I’m dealing with it as best I can.  I’m worried shitless about her but she’s testing her limits, it’s driving me insane like I guess most parents of kids that are Seniors in High School.  They’re at the age that they’re not grown but not kids anymore… they don’t know how to act and you don’t know what to do with them.I’m worried sick about it but all I can do is pray and remember I have another kid and a sick mother to worry about who rely on me too.  I’m just gonna keep moving and pray she comes to her senses.

I plan to go out for a little while tonight. My aunt is here if something happens and I’ll be right around the corner watching movies, talking shit and drinking. For a few hours I won’t be a mom, daughter or single woman looking for her soul mate, just Kay.

Have a great and safe weekend.

Love and Later Days,

-K

Trying to get motivated…

I have about 45 days to 8 weeks before I get out of this situation. I haven’t blogged about all that has been going on with me but after I finish weathering this storm, I will tell you everything that’s been going on.  That blog has been written and it is titled “You’re going to need a drink for this…”, I want to share it with you because life is about being knocked down.  When I get knocked down again I want to have it on hand to remind me just how bad this time was, sigh. 

Anywhosal, I’m trying to get motivated for my next steps. I have gained about 40lbs and they have to go. I can’t afford a personal trainer or liposuction and I’m too small for gastric bypass. I believe your outside reflects how you feel on the inside.  That being said, how I look on the outside can change the way I feel on the inside.  If I drop some weight and go back to wearing makeup, it should lift my spirits (fingers crossed).  So I need to get my fat ass on the floor and knock out my situps.  I need to eat better and at the same times.  I also have to stop trying to sleep through all this crazy.  I really don’t want to be bothered with this crazy so I shut down. I take care of my mother and the kids but not myself.  I started dating again to try and get over this hump. The date kinda sucked but I got back out there.  I have been hanging out with someone close to me and her boyfriend but that’s more because she lives close enough that I can go there and get back here in under a minute. It’s an escape because I don’t want to be where I am right now, trust me, no one would want to be. 

If I can just get motivated and get moving I will do better. I will feel better. I’m waiting on paperwork but I forgot to ask when I should expect the paperwork and for a contact number to inquire about the paperwork.  So I spend my days stalking the mailman, when the mail comes and it’s not there, it takes everything to keep me from going back to bed.

Pray I shake this feeling off, I just want everything to be okay. I hate this state of purgatory I’ve been in for the last two years. I just want to be free to act my age. 45 more days.

Love and Later Days,

-K