Category Archives: mom of a son

Still on the move…

Those of you who have been following my blog for a while or all the years I have been posting, know I have wanted to move to Myrtle Beach for a long time. I finally get here and things start falling apart. I lose my job, car and condo in that order. In losing my home, I had to allow my mom to move to a facility. This has saddened me beyond measure.  I got pregnant shortly after I lost my condo, a blessing with poor timing.

We lived in a motel where Raleigh worked shortly after he moved here, then a brief stay with my sister (twice), then it looked like we were out of the woods and then some financial difficulty and another job loss made us have to move back to a hotel. Raleigh has a family home that he shares ownership of with his siblings, so we will be moving there shortly. It made him sad to move, even though he will be moving closer to his children, who we see about every few weeks because they live a little over 4 hours away, he knows I had planned on never leaving Myrtle Beach after I moved here, so he feels he let us down. I don’t see it that way, I see it as another blessing because at least we have that option. He just wants to make me happy but happy to me is ensuring that our family has structure and stability. The plan (for now) is to move there (NC) until his youngest graduates high school, which is a year after my daughter does.

This will allow us to save for a home and come back here by the time it’s time for our son to start kindergarten. So now I’m planning this move that’s going to cost us over $1000 to do, I’m kind of numb to it right now.  I don’t really know how I feel about it, what I do know is I don’t care where I live with Raleigh and the kids as long as we’re safe and healthy. So, I’ll check in when the move has been completed. Keep me in your prayers, if you pray. Your thoughts if you don’t…

Love and Later Days

-K

Getting my shit together…

I love that Raleigh has made sure I could pretty much stay home with Bubba for the last 16, almost 17 months.  He has done overtime at work and anything else necessary to make sure everything is paid so that I can just enjoy my last (?) child.  I do work, here and there but it’s seasonal.  One thing I didn’t bank on when I moved to  a “Beach” town, was employment being so scarce. This is giving me time to figure some shit out.  I still don’t know what I’m going to do but I do have some ideas.  Right now I’m setting up an ecommerce store, meaning basically, I create the “virtual” product and find a distributor who does POD (print on demand) there are a lot of self publishers who do this too. So far either I have liked the “storefront” but not be able to link my distributor or I’ve found a POD that has a “storefront” included and I hate it.

The last couple of days I have been working out the product and concentrating less on the store front, this allows me to not lose my mind.  I just keep thinking positive, you know the old “if you build it, they will come.” It’s nothing that will generate a whole lot of revenue but it’s something.  I also get to put a little “me” out there because the product contains my snarky.

I’ve also been taking conversational Spanish online to tighten up my Español (see what I did there 😀 ), I’ll be more marketable, provided I become completely fluent before Bubba graduates High School. I’m the chic who knows how to get her needs met in Spanish (don’t be dirty).  I can ask where my cigarettes are, order a Hamburger and beer, a shot of just about any liquor, order a drink.  Tell you my name, ask you to pronounce something for me, ask directions, tell you where I’m from and ask directions.  Tell you how old I am, count and say my alphabet. The latter is cool, if I can’t say something, I can always spell it.  But that’s it folks.  That’s all and I can read Spanish well, I just have trouble speaking it most times because after you say something to me, I have to translate in my head. Think of my response and then translate it back into Spanish before saying it and even then the other person mostly ends up laughing at me.  Sort of why I don’t trust translators.  How do I know that you’re really saying what’s being said?  Like the guy who translated for Governor Nikki Haley in American Sign language, Jason Hurdich, he looked like he was having way too much fun, telling us we were all about to die and to evacuate.  Don’t believe me?  Click his name in this post or google him and hurricane Mattew, you’ll see what I mean.  It gave me flash backs to that douche bag who was the Sign Language Translator for Nelson Mandela’s Memorial back in 2013, remember him, we later found out he was a fraud! I don’t think they ever found out who he was… what were his intentions? Now Jason is the real deal but, well, ya’ll know I’m paranoid, lol.  Off track, sorry.

I’m still doing tech support from home but it doesn’t pay well.  It does cover the car note and insurance but I want to get back into my own home, (we’ve been living in a hotel for two months).  The one we’re staying in is actually built like an apartment and has wifi and cable but we can’t stay here much longer, the prices will go up as soon as we closer to the beginning of the season, which is either next month or March. I have a few places in mind but there are waiting lists. I’m praying for one place in particular, it has a playground and it’s in a safe area.  My main goal is to have the kids settled. We want to save money to buy a house so we don’t have to worry about this crap anymore, I want to pay the car off this year so we only have to deal with insurance and annual taxes. Daycare is a bear so I at least have to work from home until we can afford to pay three weeks of daycare up front to make sure we don’t incur late fees after he starts.  He needs it for his socialization skills to grow.  He’s okay now but he needs to be around other kids his age because right now he doesn’t really talk, he can, but he knows grunts and whining will get what he needs, so that’s his prefered method of communication.  I just want him to flourish, he’s smart and funny.  I just want him to have all he needs.

Raleigh is also looking at a job that pays double what he makes now, which would be a blessing. He’s about to pull his hair out waiting on his second interview.  The first interviewer promised him she’d email him on Monday, following the initial interview and that hasn’t happened, so he’s over here stressing.  I can say this, I’m really glad I don’t have to do the single parent thing anymore.

Trying to keep it light and stress free, but you guys know me ;D

Love and Later Days!

 

 

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Yes! I’m Hormonal damn it…

Fellas, I’m sorry in advance, run while you still can.

Now that they’re gone, Ladies, can we talk? I have been in Hormone Hell for over 2 years.

I was pregnant from the end of 2014 to August 2015, yes I was hormonal.

I began breastfeeding, yes I was hormonal.

I began birth control for the first time in 15 years because before I got preggers with Bubba, I thought (for medical reasons) I couldn’t get pregnant anymore, yes I was hormonal.

I came off of birth control because I couldn’t lose any weight, yes I’m hormonal.

I just got my Auntie Flo back after 2 YEARS.  The first one lasted over a month.  Let me say that again because it bears repeating, ONE MONTH WITH AUNT FUCKING FLO, yes I hormonal.

Give me a break, I cry for no reason.  I get angry at the drop of a hat. Some days I don’t want to get out of bed. My hair has fallen out, all of it. My nails won’t grow.  I have acne like I’m 16. I hurt all of the time because I’m fat as hell. I get confused and forget shit all the time. My mind wanders. I’m irritable. None of my damn clothes fit and most days I look like shit because I’m chasing a toddler, while working from home at the same damn time. Most of this is because of my hormones are out of control.  I have to deal with all of that and still function like a normal and sane person.  It’s damn difficult. I spent about 10 minutes looking for the phone and I was actually holding it walking around the house listening in on a conference call.

Why did I write this post, say it with me folks, BECAUSE YES, I’m hormonal!

RULES FOR GETTING ALONG WITH Kay IN 2017…

I posted this to FB this morning

1). Don’t mess with my kids
2). Talk to me the way you want me to talk to you
3). If you’re mad at me, keep it to yourself, I really give “0” fucks                                              4). Keep your opinions about my life to yourself.
5). If I say something to you that you don’t like, say something. I don’t read minds, so speak up, and as far as me trying to figure out why you’re mad, refer to #3.
6). Don’t mess with my money.
7). Stop calling my son, my Grandson, you know damn well he’s not and you will get your feelings hurt.
8). You’re only allowed to say 3 stupid things to me this year, use them wisely.
9). Remember I’m Queen Petty
Lastly,
10). Yes, you do have freedom of speech but remember so do I, choose your words wisely.

and a bonus, *If you’re “cleaning out” your friends list and decide you want to ‘Block/Unfriend/Unfollow” me, you don’t have to tell me because I won’t tell you if I’m going to “Block/Unfriend/Unfollow” you and then refer to #3.

ok, talk amongst yourselves. #HappyNewYear 😀

Now let me be very clear, I will often refer to myself as Queen Petty.  That’s because I have often been called petty or Petty Betty because I won’t take mess off of some folks or because, well I do have a tendency to be a teensy, weensy bit (barely noticeable amount) petty at times.  I’m the baby child and the youngest child of the youngest child in my dad’s family (whom I grew up around, so I’m the same age as my 1st cousin’s kids) so it comes with the territory, lol. I wrote that list and posted it to make it clear… this is #NoNONSENSE2017

Going to the chapel and we’re going to get married…

So, I’ve been engaged since 2014. We didn’t want to get married while I was pregnant because I didn’t want to walk down the aisle in a maternity wedding dress.  After seeing pictures of me pregnant, that was a great executive decision, I was H-U-G-E.  Then I was breastfeeding (sorry fellas) and any woman who has breastfed knows the kind of hi-jinx that can happen with a white or a light colored fabric… yup an awful version of a wet t-shirt contest.  After that it was money issues.

I really could marry Raleigh in a Church house or outhouse.  I love him to death and just want to be his wife but he wants something a smidge more elegant than an outhouse, which I now understand after seeing it up close. I have a frenemy  who met a guy and married him within a month just so she could beat me the alter. She got married at a courthouse, no shade to anyone who got married that way, my parents did and were married over 40 years until my dad died in 2012 but after witnessing it on FB (I wasn’t invited just got tagged in the post), I wouldn’t want that for me and Raleigh. I want to see Raleigh, Bubba and my step-son in nice suits or tuxes, my daughters and step-daughter in nice tea-length dresses or gowns.  Some nice pictures to remember the occasion and a little wine, accompanied by dancing wouldn’t hurt either.

With 2017 just starting, we want to try for another baby and buy a house, I don’t want to go into the poor house and we’re just getting started.  I don’t want to come back from our honeymoon and have to eat Ramon noodles either.  Which means I’ll be planning on a shoestring budget because I don’t want another New Year to pass and we’re not married.  I’ve been thinking of this cool place called Chapel by the Sea, Raleigh told me about it last year.  He didn’t want secular music played but they have prerecorded music they play at every wedding and it was kind of standing room only, if we choose to do it outdoors, we can take pictures on the beach though, Idk.  We’ll talk some more, hell I haven’t even picked a dress yet, partially because I don’t know what style I want and also because I want to lose about 40lbs, I’m already down 12lbs.  We’ll see and I’ll keep you posted (lucky you).

Love and Later Days

 

It has been a while…

I haven’t been here in a while and a lot has happened since then… For any readers that are left, if you’ll remember I started writing this blog years ago to vent about my shitty dating life.  I primarily dated online, because with my parents being sick, my work schedule, raising two kids alone and my dad being in a nursing home, well who had the time.

I relocated to Myrtle Beach, SC, something most my friends and family didn’t believe I would do, if I’m honest,I don’t believe I actually thought I would get out of Philadelphia alive either. I loved living here, although nothing much changed about my dating life or my social life because my mom still lived with me, although I had lost my father (he passed away October 28, 2012), and my mom was now completely paralyzed on her right side, which meant she required more care. My oldest and I had started butting heads before we left Philadelphia (she ran away twice – story for another post) and I thought the move would do us good.

After a parade of weirdos, a visit from an ex, a craptastic date or two and a married man pretending to be single, I met Raleigh*.  I think some of my old blogs talk about him.  He was great, still is… but we have been truly going through some crappy shit. I gave birth to my son, yes my old ass still has eggs and for those of you who don’t know I’ll be 40 in January.  He is great, and me and Raleigh parent great together.  We were planning on getting married and then we found out I was pregnant so that was put on hold.

Now that you are pretty much caught up, I just want to warn the old readers that the tone and type of blogging I will be doing is going to change from bitching about dating to me bitching about my struggles.  Not with my relationship, that’s cool.  I wake up everyday grateful for Raleigh.  My rants and bitching now will mostly now be just about my life.  You’ve been warned, lol.

Love and Later Days!