Category Archives: Twitter

I’m back and I have a boyfriend…

Well I know you thought I fell of the face of the Earth but I did not… I have started a great new relationship with Raleigh and it is so great he is relocating here to Myrtle Beach to be closer to me and the kids.

I want you to know that isn’t why I stopped blogging, I stopped blogging because of WP’s stupid ass update that had all my blogs drafted locally to my phone.  The problem is now fixed (I think) and all is right with the world, lol  🙂

So I will not bore you with the details of what has gotten me to girlfriend status but I will say he is a great guy.  He has truly become my best friend and we are good for each other.  We talk everyday.  He is sweet, supportive, funny, God Fearing, loving, affectionate and great at the groovey stuff 😉

He visits often but only for the weekend but believe it or not it isn’t a hindrance or strain to our relationship.  We have private jokes and my kids love him.  Before he permanently relocates here, I will be going there to meet his family.

All I can say is my life is more amazing with him in it.  He is who I have been praying for, I’m not going to lie, at the beginning of the relationship I was waiting for the other shoe to drop sidebar- the post you just saw, titled “I did it”, has been sitting on my phone for couple of months. So don’t think I just saw him and all of this is going down.  Anywhosal… he sent me two cards created in which he wrote me love letters and FED Ex’d them and a CD to my home… it was a Mother’s Day card and a Valentine’s Day card.  Sweet but odd I know, at first.  When I called to thank him, he told me he was sorry it took him 37yrs to find me but he planned to spend the rest of his life making it up to me… the two cards for the missed Holidays was just the beginning, okay you can say it… awwww.

We text and talk like teenagers when he’s not here and make out like teenagers when he is here…

I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend 🙂

Just because I have found my Mr. Right For Me” doesn’t mean you are off the hook… I still have plenty of soapboxes stored up, there is far more shit in the world, besides online dating, that pisses me off. Plus, I know you’re gonna want to know how this all plays out whether this is my Happily ever after or if it will crash and burn.  So… To Be Continued and as always…

Love and Later Days,

-K

Advertisements

Problem with online dating…

I have been dating on and off for years online.  One of the reasons I have been having difficulty is because I come across better in person than I do on paper when it comes to dating.  If I’m looking for work, my resume speaks volumes but not so much when it comes to dating. I finally figured out why… In my real life I’m not an aggressive dater. I’m used to being courted, wooed… hell, I’ll just say it, I’m used to being chased.  I The kind of guy I date makes the plans for our date.  He calls me, he asks me out, he asks for my number.

When online dating, I’m have to be the aggressor. I have to come out of my comfort zone.  I’m suddenly something, I’m not in my real life.  I become insecure.  I’m second guessing my jokes, wondering if they’re coming across properly in print.  Writing those damn profiles are torture.  Once I move on to the talking on the phone portion of the courtship, my insecurity grows even more, why you ask?  Because on more occasions than I can count I have been called “sir”. When I meet folks in person, they see me and hear my voice at the same time (which thankfully my voice doesn’t match my appearance, think Sofia Bush), so when they hear my voice on the phone later, it doesn’t cause a concern.  Someone once told me that he thought I would look like the mother on “What’s Happening”, the actress named Mabel King…

mabel king

 

Most people who meet me either think I look like Angela Bassett or Lynn Whitfield.  I don’t agree, but you will agree that’s a far cry from Mabel King.  So I worry that my deep voice is going to scare off a prospective Mr. Right for me. Basically the role reversal makes me uncomfortable and Idk how to become that other type of woman.  The type who can approach a guy without feeling or looking awkward.  I’ve never had to do it in the past and when I’m able to go out, for something other than a chore (hell even chores), I have no problems turning heads, even being 40 lbs overweight.  After we get a conversation going I’m normally golden.  This way feels so backward, so weird and I’m having issues getting past it.  I need to figure out a way around this otherwise I’m going to continue stumbling through this crap.  If I can just get a good profile…

I’ll let you know what I figure out.

Love and Later Days,

-K

Time Machine…

Does anyone have one I can borrow or rent? I promise to  return it in the same or better condition. I’ll put gas in it, I won’t eat in it and make sure to put the seats and mirrors back in their original position.

I had one when I was a kid but burned out the engine jumping from birthdays, Christmases, my first kiss and hurry to adulthood.  Now when I really need it, I don’t have one of my own and my kids are too busy doing the same with theirs that I did with mine (even though I have warned them against it) to let me borrow theirs and I need it badly to get passed my rough patch. Smh.

So, if you have a Time Machine I can borrow, just leave it in my driveway, with the keys under the seat and I will return it in the very near future. 

Love and Later Days,

-K

You hear that…

That is the sound of ice hitting up against my glass. A lot of shit is going on right now. My oldest daughter is putting the screws to me… I’m dealing with it as best I can.  I’m worried shitless about her but she’s testing her limits, it’s driving me insane like I guess most parents of kids that are Seniors in High School.  They’re at the age that they’re not grown but not kids anymore… they don’t know how to act and you don’t know what to do with them.I’m worried sick about it but all I can do is pray and remember I have another kid and a sick mother to worry about who rely on me too.  I’m just gonna keep moving and pray she comes to her senses.

I plan to go out for a little while tonight. My aunt is here if something happens and I’ll be right around the corner watching movies, talking shit and drinking. For a few hours I won’t be a mom, daughter or single woman looking for her soul mate, just Kay.

Have a great and safe weekend.

Love and Later Days,

-K

Trying to get motivated…

I have about 45 days to 8 weeks before I get out of this situation. I haven’t blogged about all that has been going on with me but after I finish weathering this storm, I will tell you everything that’s been going on.  That blog has been written and it is titled “You’re going to need a drink for this…”, I want to share it with you because life is about being knocked down.  When I get knocked down again I want to have it on hand to remind me just how bad this time was, sigh. 

Anywhosal, I’m trying to get motivated for my next steps. I have gained about 40lbs and they have to go. I can’t afford a personal trainer or liposuction and I’m too small for gastric bypass. I believe your outside reflects how you feel on the inside.  That being said, how I look on the outside can change the way I feel on the inside.  If I drop some weight and go back to wearing makeup, it should lift my spirits (fingers crossed).  So I need to get my fat ass on the floor and knock out my situps.  I need to eat better and at the same times.  I also have to stop trying to sleep through all this crazy.  I really don’t want to be bothered with this crazy so I shut down. I take care of my mother and the kids but not myself.  I started dating again to try and get over this hump. The date kinda sucked but I got back out there.  I have been hanging out with someone close to me and her boyfriend but that’s more because she lives close enough that I can go there and get back here in under a minute. It’s an escape because I don’t want to be where I am right now, trust me, no one would want to be. 

If I can just get motivated and get moving I will do better. I will feel better. I’m waiting on paperwork but I forgot to ask when I should expect the paperwork and for a contact number to inquire about the paperwork.  So I spend my days stalking the mailman, when the mail comes and it’s not there, it takes everything to keep me from going back to bed.

Pray I shake this feeling off, I just want everything to be okay. I hate this state of purgatory I’ve been in for the last two years. I just want to be free to act my age. 45 more days.

Love and Later Days,

-K

Date night…

Went out on a date with Professor. It started bad and ended mediocre. The middle was ok. We met at a bar he picked (did I mention I hate bar dates?).

I got lost and ended up being an hour and a half late. Didn’t matter much to him because he took the time to drink his way through a pitcher of beer. I did call while I was driving up and down I95 to let him know I was completely lost. He said he would wait. We would have had a great conversation if he wasn’t “two sheets to the wind” and the music wasn’t so loud we had to yell to hear each other. He thought it would be a good idea to finish my beer and then paw me in the parking lot. If I wanted to date a frat boy I would have been looking in a much younger demographic, he was 52 btw.

In case you’re wondering, there will be no further contact.

Love and Later days,

-K

Getting offline and the first date…

How many times have you gotten an email from a guy online and all it says is Hi or it just includes a “form letter”? You’re wondering why’d he even bother, why couldn’t he say more than that? It’s because it’s hard as hell to talk to someone you don’t know, it’s even harder when you haven’t met them in person. 

Online all you know is whether or not you find the person attractive, if they can spell and if they know the difference between their/there/they’re and your/you’re.  In person you feel the chemistry. You can gauge their humor by their body language when you tell a joke. You can discuss things in your surroundings to bridge the gap if you have bouts of silence.  The best part is, in person you can gauge if your date finds you attractive too. 

Now that I have pointed out the obvious (and given a small English lesson), I’ll tell you how to get pass the “Awkwards” (that’s what I call the first 10 email exchanges).  First, if all you get is a “Hi” email, go to his profile and look up his information.  See how many children he has (or don’t).  His status, married/widowed/separated/single/divorce. His career choice (although I never bring up work), education, etc…  Now you’re ready to respond.  Say “hi” back.  Ask him about anything in his profile.  Stay away from vague questions like… what do you like to do for fun? Stay away from stupid questions like Why are you single? or Why are you dating online? These types of questions are dead end questions and leave you floundering for another question. Instead ask something specific. Rather than What do you do for fun? Ask him something like Do you like action movies? His answer gives you room for a follow up question and that can lead to a date. For instance if he says yes, you can say… I wanted to see the new Vin Diesel movie. If he says no, you can follow up with Okay, what type of movie do you like? The thing is, men are accused of not communicating, that simply isn’t true.  Men will talk if they’re familiar or comfortable with the topic at hand. Find a common ground.  It doesn’t have to be sports or cars.  I know a lot about both topics and trust me, less men than you may realize know about either topic. 

Okay so now you’re going on your date.  What to do and where to go.  I don’t suggest going out for coffee or out for drinks on the first date. Too much coffee you come off wack a doo, too much wine, you might show him a little too much of you.

I personally prefer interactive dates like arcades or bowling, however, I like to learn his personality before we go on those types of dates because I don’t like playing with sore losers or lousy winners (the guy who has a loser dance or brags about winning beer pong or foosball like it’s the Superbowl). The first date I usually like to go to a movie or to hear live music. Afterward I like to go to dinner.

With music or a movie first if there is a lull in conversation we have something to talk about.  I usually don’t order anything more than appetizers and I always take a cab or my own car.  This way if the date is a dud we don’t have that awkward ride home.  I also don’t ride in cars with strangers.  I love when it feels like I never want the date to end but I don’t stay out past ten on a week night (folks gotta work) and never past midnight on a weekend. I don’t want a guy to get the impression we’re doing any bike riding until I think he’s trustworthy.

I also stay away from deep conversations until we get a good feel for each other. No talk of politics, religion or sex (unless I plan on engaging in sex that day). Stay light.  Flirt… I think actually that’s one of my favorite parts of being a girl.  The flirting.  I like twirling my hair around my finger. Crossing my legs, when they’re visible (like when I’m sitting on a couch or sitting at a bar top table). I like the attention I get from flirting.  I feel sexy and alive.  Trust me, I love my mother but changing her Depends and washing her up doesn’t make me feel sexy, neither does being a single mom.

Well that’s all for now, hope you found this useful.  Maybe my next blog will be about the art of flirting.  It’ll depend on the comments.

Good Luck, Happy Hunting…

Love and Later Days,

-K

Now I remember why…

I always dated older men. In my twenties I dated men in their 40s. In my early thirties, I started dating men closer to my age, sometimes even younger.

I date older men because they usually have their shit together.  A man 20 yrs older than me normally has grown children and his parents have usually died.

What difference does that make? More time, more money and his only responsibly is to himself.  That means he can travel, court me (yes I said court), and has less “family” issues.  The down side, older men don’t really like to go out much and they don’t like to have sex as long or as much as I do and sometimes because they only have to worry about themselves, they tend to be selfish and pushy.  If they have kids they also have a tendency to treat you like a child and sometimes they’re a bit insecure because of the difference in age.

The upside, they constantly encourage you, they’re attentive, they appreciate good food, good music and quiet.  They appreciate a good woman because they have dated enough bad ones and gold diggers.  Did I mention normally drama free.  Their “yeses” mean “yes” and their “nos” mean “no”. They usually have the patience of JOB and their wardrobe consists of more than jeans.

Don’t get me wrong, there are wanna be players and old Mr. Youngs running around with Peter Pan syndrome but most of them you can smell before you see them. 

There are two right now buzzing around. One I’m not all that into… I think he’s trying to take me to church.  I wouldn’t mind if I knew him better but because I don’t, it unnerves me when he brings it up.  Sex, politics and my religious beliefs are private parts of me that I only like to share when I’m comfortable with someone.  I feel like he’s jumping the gun a little.  The other guy is kind of nice.  He did try the internet version of a very old and corny pick up line.  He wanted to know if he knew me from another site. He wants to meet, I’m not really ready for that yet. He has some business out of town this weekend so he wants to meet this week.  Maybe next week. 

When he asked me out, it reminded me why I like older guys.  He knew what day he wanted to go out.  Where he wanted to go, he sent me directions and the link to the place’s website.  It’s a place between our homes but he offered to come to a place that’s closer to my house if necessary.  He has three kids. Two in their twenties and his youngest is the age of my oldest.  I told him I’d let him know tmrw.  I probably won’t go but I like his enthusiasm. 
I’ll keep you posted.  I have to talk with him more to get a nickname for him.

Well I have to tweet my tweethearts before I go to bed.

Love and Later Days,

-K

I’m need a remedial class for Twitter …

Please don’t laugh.  I have been using Twitter for years but it was a sporadic thing.  I even deleted my account and had to create a new one at one point.   I tweeted maybe every few months maybe less. About once a year at one point.

Over the last year I have gone from tweeting several times a year to several times a day.  I now tweet via my smart phone, rather than my laptop, which means when new features appear, I don’t get a tutorial like when you upgrade from a computer.  Now I have no more of an  idea what some of the features are, than wtf they’re trying to say in these new stupid Burlington Coat Factory commercials.  Like wth is this damn “blue line” connecting two tweets.

Damn, I hope I won’t have to go any further than having to Google or Bing these damn features because I know damn well there is a “Twitter for Dummies” book out there some where and I refuse to buy it, not that I don’t need it, it’s just the principle.

Love and Later Days,

-K